~ six

Organica - Evil smile ... "No-Bone McDoy ... hey Eddie.  We all chipped in.  Gonna need it Mr 'secret identity' ... "  She pulls out a black leather supervillain hood with goggles and gas mask set in.

Eddie - "Holy Shit.  This is cool !"  Puts it on, "Wow."  Hears his altered voice, "wow ... woooowooow ... (now lust listening to the sound), "Thanks guys ... this ... is really special."  Takes it off and looks at it with a smile, "But No-Bone.  How ?  Nothing can pierce him, he only keeps stretching."

Alien Agenda - "Space blasters."

They all look at him.

...

Eddie - "Okay so I 'accept your existence' ... you know.  'Aliens are real' and what not but ... do you really call them that ?"

Alien Agenda - "Well.  The toys we do."
____

Ambrose at home, "Mom can I have X-23 space blasters for Human Greed Day ?"

Alien Mom - "You'll shoot your eye out."

Ambrose - "No they're for my human friends so they shoot their eyes out."

Alien Mom - "Oh !  That's my boy ... "
____

Alien Agenda - Drops the crate on the table, "Useless against Total Flamer and Crisis Existential, but McDoy on the other hand ... "

Eddie - Picks up a 50's looking sci-fi blaster ... "They'll burn right through them."

Alien Agenda - "Indeed.  But first you have to check the barrel."

Eddie - "What do you mean ?"  Looks down tha barrel then catches himself ... "Ah !"  A laugh ... 

Alien Agenda - "One day I will kill you all, insufferable humans."  Smiles across the emotional table, "But not today."

They cheers to the next scene ~

('Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun' by Beastie Boys)

Walking to the hit in costume while spinning and trying out their shiny new space blasters in the alleys ...

Eddie - "Okay.  We know his body will react intuitively, automatically dodging every shot and threat without him even thinking about it.  These space guns are great ... "

Alien Agenda - "Blasters."

Eddie - "Yeah the space blasters are great but it doesn't matter until we hit him."

Colonel Calibrate - "Cross fire ... "

Eddie - "Exactly.  And we aim for where previous shot makes him go."

Organica - "And that shot makes him go where we want."

Eddie - "Into the next shot."

Organica - "Bring them too the bullet.  You're really very good at this you know.  You need a name."

Eddie - "Like a villain name ?  What are they gonna call me, I'm powerless."

Number Nine - "That's it !  You're Powerless !"

Alien Agenda - "Strangely intimidating ... and very ironic."

Colonel Calibrate - "Screams of madness."

Alien Agenda - "Human madness."

Colonel Calibrate - "Yeah ... like a cornered animal."

Organica - "Like if he's there at all he's got something up his sleeve just for you, but you don't know what it is ... got something for me."

Powerless - "My heart on a sleeve."

Number Nine - "He's in love."

Organica - "And I'm an evil temptress."

Powerless - "You're fine as hell, but I really do like this one.  I don't want to fuck it up."

Organica - "One of Nine's victims I think."  Smiles, "Your never do know ... you know.  Just bear it in mind if it all goes awry, and we just might conquer the world."

Powerless - "Still can."

Number Nine - "He'll hold."

Organica - "Huh.  So you were saying, Powerless, bringing them to the bullet."

Powerless - "Hang on back up.  I know about you and Nine ... "  Looks to Calibrate and Agenda, then to The Minister, "While I guess he just makes the mayhem."  

The Minister - "The mayhem almighty."

Powerless - "Looking forward to that."  Back to Alien Agenda and Colonel Calibrate, "But what about you two."

Colonel Calibrate - "Infinite ammo."

Alien Agenda - "General superiority."

Powerless - "No shit ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "No shit."  

Alien Agenda - "Indeed." 

Colonel Calibrate - "One bullet is all I need."

Alien Agenda - "And I in fact do not shit."

Powerless - "Whoa.  That's cool.  Alright.  Nine, make the call."

Number Nine - "Another hod date in the dirty alleyway ... "  Starts tapping.  "He's a very naughty boy, he likes it like that."  Ringing ... "Plus he's mourning, that always makes him horny."

Organica - "We killed his mother."

Powerless - "Ah."

Number Nine - Into the phone, "Well hellooo you ... I heard about the tragedy and just couldn't stop thinking about how you must be feeling right now.  I'm concerned."  Makes a eye-rolling grotesque face of annoyance while listening to him talk ... Oh yeah.  I'm in your favorite place and mine right now."  Pretends vomit.  "Mm.  Toodles."  Hangs up, "Places."
________

Number nine waits until he hears the whistle echo down the alleyway, a dramatic intonation of 'When Irish eyes are smiling ... '

No-Bone McDoy - Tan trench over his dumb ass costume, seeing only Number Nine.  "I can't believe I'm here again but I think the team really need this right now."

Number Nine - "Me too."  Pulls a space blaster from under his coat, "Now dance."

No-Bone McDoy "What ?"

Number Nine pulls the gun and fires, No-Bone stretches automatically to avoid it, and the alley fills with blasts.

(cut from '2 the 9's' by Prince)

As No-Bone gets more desperate in his involuntary gyrations.

(cut from 'Sexy MF' by Prince)

They do as planned.  Shots move him into other shots, they converge as his boogie gets desperate until they start connecting and loading him with holes.

Then down on the ground and exhausted, already dying, he looks around and they're gone.  Then the grenade bounces to.  

No-Bone McDoy - "Oh fuck me."  And to the after party ...

('Vomit ~ 1926 Edit' by MF Doom)

(the after party)
________________

('Boogie Dracula' by Rob Zombie v Earth Wind and Fire)

Song directly in at 6 minutes (after the intermish), voiced over the open, still dark ~

Number Nine - "Bullets melt, metals melt, plastics ... "

Colonel Calibrate - "Shrapnel ... "

Organica - "I'm literally a plant."

The Minister - "I rain Hell from the Heavens and he walks through it like it's home."

Number Nine - "Nothing.  Total Flamer has only one weakness."

(main music)

All bundled up in the back of an ice cream truck with a tied up driver, Powerless driving while Total Flamer waits at the corner tapping his phone.  They turn the temp down to the lowest.

Total Flamer - Drops into a suburb playing Crossout on his phone, he taps a direct message ~ "you suck at life like this game you should kill yourself."  Evil snicker as he sends it, plays on.

~ They swerve at high speed through the traffic, Ice Cream music jingling while the driver rolls around shivering.

He does a little dance waiting.  Gets mad at what he sees, taps away and says to himself, "SWAT you ... "

~ The truck accelerates down the neighborhood strip, sighted ahead, camera lowers to the kevlar mounted across its front end.  Powerless blasts the jingle music and leans in.

Total Flamer looks up at the ice cream sound, "Ooo !  Ice cream ... "  Looks at his phone, "Bitch !"  Hears the engine roaring high, "Coming in a bit hot ... heh.  Hope the see me ... "  Steps closer to the curb.

The truck hops the curb and splat into an explosion of flame engulfing them, the truck driver nodding with a scared smile (next song immediately on impact).

('By the Time I Get to Arizona' by Public Enemy)

Driving the fireball out of the neighborhood, to the after party with the driver getting showered with money  in the warehouse the, truck still smoking behind while they eat ice cream.
________________

While Crisis Existential wanders the dark penthouse of the Fabulous Skyrise ...

Crisis Existential (played by the mother) - Talking to herself or perhaps a rock, "All alone ... "  She pokes around the corner into the kitchen with its pile of dishes, evidence of multiple meals stacked still on the table, take-out trash and boxes.

"All alone ... "

She smiles ... "Finally."

She looks around with a near giggle, then to the still shattered window from the Divisible Girl's murder.  "All the voices are gone.  But still !"  She looks at The Rock, "Revenge is the etiquette."  

She throws the rock hard out the window.

It spins and spins through the air, googly eyes spinning against, until it begins to grow and transform into Dwayne Johnson, The Rock.  With a hard 'superhero landing' on one knee and fist looking down ... then up.

The Rock - "Revenge it is."  He raises an eyebrow to a glowing red eye ...
________

Maria - In bed next to Eddie again, appearing near the state of shock and endorphins ... "God if only I'd known I'd have killed them myself."  She looks fast to Eddie, "Now what the fuck did you say to me ?"

Eddie - Side eye ... "You heard me."

Maria - "Yeah.  And now I want to hear it again.  Look me in the eye."

Eddie - Looks at her.  ...  "I love you."

...

Maria - "God I hate you."  Looks back to the news across from  the bed.

Eddie - "For someone as good at spotting a liar as you ... you're really fucking bad at it."

...

Maria - "Fuck me again."

Eddie - "Can do."

The view clicks off with the news.
________

The Rock stands over the site of No-Bone McDoy's death, a squiggly chalk outline drawn around rubbery form washing away in the rain ... turns away cold.

Then over the scorch marks in the ground of Total Flamer.  Looks up at the sun, eyebrow raised over the red glow.  Fires a beam with a rage filled roar, houses and cars crushing inward from the force of his will.  Car alarms sound as he examines the marks, a wavy circle drawn in  that chalk around ...

His eye vision shows the readouts analyzing the data, the tire marks from the swerve to kill, then shuts down as he looks around.  Another view shows decaying detritus from the ice cream truck and he follows with a stomp that shakes the suburbs through the noise.
________

While Crisis Existential dances in the empty penthouse ... "All gone all gone, the voices are gone !"

('Fists of Love' by Big Black)

The protagonists about their normal undercover days, The Minister takes confessions, Number Nine takes an ass, The Ice Cream truck drops off for the kids, Maria reports the news, The Rock stomps the middle of the road.

Cops try to stops him, a blast from the eye too the next scene.
________________

In the confessional ~

The Rock - "Forgive me father, for I fear I must sin again."

The Minister - Voiced over a view outside the church as the sky darks over.  "Well it's about God damn time."
____

The team's phones ring and buzz one by one, Crisis Existential rides the elevator down.  The ding.  The door opens behind the receptionist desk.

Receptionist (#9's 'friend') - "Oh my God we've been so worried a ... "

Crisis Existential - "Useless whore."  She clenches a fist, popping the receptionist in a scatter of blood as the world starts shifting into another one entirely, the over-vivid colors creeping in.  "All alone ... "
____

The Rock tears the warehouse door off the hinges, now empty.  He takes a deep whiff of the air ... readouts showing all the people who were there, their records ... all but one.  Eddie has no record, has never been sampled.  

Question mark flashing.

Eddie - Standing behind him at the door, "It's you !  I am such a fan."

The Rock - "Mr Schlock.  A pleasure to see you.  Turned back to scan the room ... "And what brings you here ?"

Eddie - "Same nose as you I think, got a tip."  Smiles looking down at his phone, "Looks like it payed off."

The Rock - "The priest."

Eddie - "Yeah !  He was a priest !  How did you ... "

The Rock - "He's dead."  His tac-view shows the question mark flashing over Eddie.  "And so are you."

Eddie - "Wait what Me !?"  I'm fucking Powerless !"

The Rock - "Organica.  Number Nine.  Colonel Calibrate."  Eye glowing red as the enter, "Let's get it on."

Number Nine - "I have a confession."  Pulls off his mask and looks to Eddie.  "I don't have superpowers."
____

Maria - To a woman dressed like Cupid drinking tea behind bars, "What !?"
____

Eddie - "But how did you ... all those women ... "

Number Nine - "And men.  I'm just that charming !"
____

Cupid - "Hot."

Maria - "Oh my God ... "
____

The Rock - "Seeing Number Nine without a mask ... "O my God."

The Minster - "Owwwwww !"  Limping in with one arm ... "That hurt."

The Rock - "But you ... "

The Minister - "God's own motherfucker."  Spits blood.  "Won't let me die til I'm done."

Number Nine - "Huh !  Looks like 'finishing' is a problem with this one."

Organica - "Seems the type."

The Rock - "All those things you said to me ... "  Eye growing dim with sadness " ... I believed you."

Number Nine - "Hm."  A smile as he puts the mask back on.  "Let's go."

They all turn for the door, The Rock left there in the dark, "But ... "  The grenades roll in and the warehouse explodes behind them.

Colonel Calibrate - "Wait !"  Rolls a die ... it lands on twenty.  "Well God damn."

Number Nine - "Just a big softy."

Eddie - "So."

Number Nine - "She loves you Eddie.  And you love her."  He smiles ... the blast through him as The Rock roars in the rubble, Crisis Existential approaching in her usual laden state with shopping bags.  

The sky grows dark with the Minister's wrath while the buildings all flicker in forms with Crisis Existential's fluctuating emotional state.  She pulls a pill bottle and pops, the world shudders into a chromatic rendition.

Crisis Existential - As The Rock walks to her side, "Sorry about your friend."  Unwraps a piece of chewing gum and tastes it, "Not."

The Rock raises his brow to a blast across their number, sending them all for cover.

Eddie - "Well that's me off guys, I've got a wedding to go to."

Organica - "Yeah you should definitely leave now."

All agree.

The Rock - "Oh no.  No one gets out alive."

Crisis Existential - "Except us of course."

The Rock - "Well."  ... Turns to her, "I really wish you'd stop stepping on my action lines."

Crisis Existential - "Yeah and I wish this was actually happening but here we're not !"

The Rock - "You're fucking insane."

Crisis Existential - "And you're fucking free.  Kill them all.  And I mean Everyone."

The Rock - Raises a brow with a blast as Edie tries sneaking away amid their drama, sending him back behind a pile of rubble.  "Just you and me, on top of the world."

Crisis Existential - "You're a rock.  It means just me."

The Rock - "I'm The Rock."

Crisis Existential - "Sure.  Go get 'em tiger."  Turns shuffling her bags.

Organica - "Paper covers rock."  A tree from nowhere falls on The Rock.  She looks at the team ... "You know.  Like paper comes from trees."

"Ah."

The Rock - Lifting the tree off, "Sister.  Your action lines suck ass."

Organica - "Do not."

The Rock - "Do too."  Struck by lightning.  Smouldering ... "Owww ... "

Crisis Existential - "Ah.  I ... have a wedding to go to !  Yep !"

Powerless - "Nope.  Colonel ?"

The Colonel looks to him.

Powerless - "Calibrate."

The Colonel - "Heh."  Pulls the RPG.

Crisis Existential hides behind The Rock while he takes the blasts, he responds with a beam from  the eye and it's on.  The vines grow, the sky darkens and fire rains above in mass just waiting for the ground, the rockets flare.

Crisis Existential turns to run, The Minister runs after as the burning stones strike all around.

Crisis Existential - A distance down the way, she stops and turns and the world shifts a shade.  "Your God has no power over me."

The Minister - "That's absolutely the worst thing to say to him."  She's struck by lightning, the world shuttering to normal then back again.

Crisis Existential - "You ... I will eat your fucking liver for pate ... I will ... "

The Minister - "YAY Though I Walk."

The stones rain all around with gust of wind, hail mingles with fire as she pulls the umbrella from her bags ... 

The Minister - "Everyone's tried to take you out, from Galaga to Deuce.  Everyone."  Grins ... 

Crisis Existential - Shifting her shopping bags, "Yeah ?"  Pops another pill, the world shifts green.  "So what have you got ?"

The Minister - "The end of the world, just to take you out with it.  I'm gonna smack you upside the head with the apocalypse."

('Temptation' by Prince)

And so it begins ... Hell rains from above, vines grow from below.  The Rock fires his blasts as Calibrate sends it all, the destruction of the city grows.

Eddie tries sneaking away ... 

Maria watches the news with Cupid, wide eyes before the helicopter filming is struck by fire and sent spinning down.  Punches aside in The Rocks path to explosion into a nearby laundromat.

The Rock - To himself, "Oh right.  Saving people."  Eye-roll.  "Whatever."  Stomps forth.

Inside Crisis's created bubble world, the bunnies dance and play ... it's Easter !

Crisis Existential - As The Minister walks into the bubble, "Oo Daddy.  I Have Sinned."

The Minister - "You never should have left me.  The world we could have made."

Crisis Existential - "Pf.  What world.  None of it's real."  

Minister - "I am."

A dirty look ...
_____

While Eddie runs fleeing The Rock's blasts, Maria watches him on the news.

Cupid - "He Loves you."

She looks to the Cupid, then back to the news and back again.

Maria - "Eddie ?"

Cupid - Looks from her to the TV with a smile, "Powerless."
____

The song wails with the destruction, Galaga watches on a tiny TV ... "heh."  

Doctor Deuce watches from his cell ... "It's time." ... The prison riots ... "It's TIME !"  The prisoners cheer, shaking their bars.
____

The Minister - "End times."

Crisis Existential - A laugh looking beyond her bubble, "You always promised me.  You promised me.  The end of the world."

The Minister - "The beginning of ours."

...

She smiles.
____

Eddie - Bursts through Maria's door exhausted.  "I love you."  Sees Cupid.  "Um.  Hi.  I love her."

Cupid - "I know.  And she loves you."  Maria punches her.

Maria - "It's true.  I can't actually say the words without retching but ... what she said.  And yes."

Eddie - "You will !?"

Maria - "I ... "  Retches a bit.  "I do."
____

Weeding bells gong loud as Galaga powers into the atmosphere over the city, continuing orchestral through the battle.  The prison gates crash open in their escape.

Crisis Existential - "The ... "  A hopeful smile, "Apocalypse ?"

The Minister - Grins back "As you wish."  

The bubble pops, The Rock pops back to a rock.  

The city turns back into itself as all the powers fade, the urban traffic surrounding and burying them all among them, just going to work.  The swelling orchestra into the church as Eddie and Maria are married by the Minister (with two arms), Crisis playing the organ.

The kiss ... 

Minister - To Crisis, "You took the pills right ?"

Crisis - Smiles up from the keys with pills for teeth.

~ the end ~

('The Letter' by PJ Harvey)

The screen crackles out and in like an old TV.

Switchblade leans in watching with a grin, the Team in costume ~

Powerless - Voice modulated, "Do not panic.  We have taken control.  Our Demands are simple.  An end to all social media.  An end to all cellphones."

"And we want to be Villainaires."

Static out to the sound of launch sirens, The Minister voiced over, "Honey ... "  

 

... 

 

Crisis Existential - "What ?"

('Love Potion Number Nine' by The Clovers)

Number Nine and Cupid still with living wings hold hands on the beach at sunset ... it could be Heaven.

___________________