~ five

('Papa Crazy' by Run DMC)

 

Outside as the villains unload from their varied and signature cars in costume one by one, all likely insane ...
____

Now crowded inside, sign by the door says 'No Banter'. ~

Eddie - "Wait.  All of you.  And None off you could kill them ?  Have you never like ... tried ?  You know, like 'teamed up' before ?"

Number Nine - "Oh we have.  Every combination and configuration but we never did try just doing simple hits."

Alien Agenda (Ambrose from Diver Deep with a mask) - "It took a weak human to think of it.  We all were thinking about honor and such."

Colonel Calibrate (the lawyer) - "The challenge ... heh."

Eddie - "Huh.  We I just can't fucking stand them.  Let's get it done."

The Minister - "The problem is, they are truly like that.  That which you hate about them, incestuous whores though they may be that insidious laughter and bravado ... it's the way they really are."

Eddie - "God I knew it ... it was easier to accept when I though they were full of shit but then one interview I realized.  They were not fucking with me."

Alien Agenda - "That's the horrifying reality.  So long as they are so unbelievably inane, fate itself seem to protect them.  But poisoning them.  Ha !  Love it."

Eddie - "Yeah I don't know if that'll work on all of them."

Organica (Miserella) - "Better than that.  What about expanding food ?  On contact with saliva it grows and clogs the throat ... they'll be dead of no air before the first ambulance and they'd have to slit their throats to remove it.  So at least there'd be that."

They nod considering the suffering ...

Eddie - "Won't work on Rock Solid though ... "

Calibrate - "Hand grenade."

Eddie - "Seriously ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "Seriously.  I took a chunk out once."

Number Nine - "I remember that.  Good times ... which team up was that ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "Legion of Legions."

The Minister - "I read about that one in the paper."

Eddie - "Yeah I took the pictures, the five are the ones who destroyed most of the city as per fucking usual but what's your power again ?"

The Minister - Grins ... "Wrath."

Eddie - "Wrath."

Number Nine - "Oh yeah he makes good wrath."

The Minister - "But They ... will Never be in front of the bullet."

Colonel Calibrate - "We've all shot at them, they're worse than bullet proof.  You just don't hit them."

Alien Agenda - "Because they're morons."

Eddie - "I actually get that.  So the key is, bringing them to the bullet."

...

Organica - "But they do all eat."

Colonel Calibrate - "And hand grenades."
________________

Maria - "Late night celebrating your front page shot ?"

Eddie - "Concocting my master plan to kill the Fabulous Five."

Maria - "God I wish.  To never have to interview a fucking rock again ... "

Eddie - A laugh, "Working on it.  Going out or staying in ?"

Maria - "Let's stay in."

Eddie - "No news."

Maria - "Pinky promise."

Eddie - Voiced over, "And so we set to it."
____________

Colonel Calibrate - Loads his .303 with his eye down the scope.  "One by one."
____

Number Nine - Dressed as flower deliver, to the Fabulous tower receptionist, "Well hello there."

Receptionist - Sees him and smiles, "Well hi !  Flowers for the team ?  Let me guess.  The Divisible Girl."

Number Nine - "Actually, they're for you."  A wry smile, "Apparently someone's got a crush."

Receptionist - Looks into him, "Someone."

Number Nine - "You wouldn't have buzzed me in without the costume."

Receptionist - "We like with costumes here."  Looks to the next receptionist coming on shift to relieve her, smiles back at Number Nine.
____

The flowers drop to the glorious sounds of fucking in the break room (where another employee walks in and grabs a soda from the fridge, opens it and takes a drink watching them ... then leaves).  

The flowers grow, sprouting into Organica.  She watches a sec, a look to the fridge, grabs a soda and leaves.
____

At the Fabulous dinner table, the five laugh at likely a horrible joke which you will be spared, then down to feed ~

Divisible Girl (Bets) - "Wow this is good.  Really filling."  Her eyes go wide as about to choke.

Total Flamer - His throat growing, "Too Big !  Too Big !"

No-Bone McDoy (the father) works his neck to get the growing mass out, while The Rock's google eyes stare at the plate in front of him, maybe.  Hard to say, he's a rock.

Crisis Existential arrives late in a hurry with many bags sees their struggle and screams.

Divisible Girl - Becoming many, the lead looks down to the choking version as she falls to the floor.  "Poor dear.  You know what we must do.  

The choker looks up in her struggle and nods.  The lead pulls a blade and slams it into her sternum, cutting and prying until the fallen tree crack of the sternum, cuts out her heart and begins to devour, "We take your soul."

With a primordial roar, they all snap back into one, face covered with blood.  Her face snaps back from the shot to the forehead.  She falls.

The gather around, total flamer burns it off and returns to his truly Fabulous costume.

Crisis Existential - "O My God did she actually die or was that in my head again ?"  She looks at The Rock in her hand, The Rock looks back.

No-Bone McDoy - The sullen music, "She's ... gone."  The screen goes dark, spotlight on The Divisible Corpse.

...

Total Flamer (Interpol guy) - "Don't you mean they ?"

...

They all laugh in the dark.
____

Colonel Calibrate - "And we're the bad guys ... phew."  Pulls an RPG and fires it (it says D&D on the side) and fires for the broken window.  Throws the 20 sided die ... it's a one.  "Damn it."  Starts packing the gear.
____

No-Bone McDoy - All laying in the rubble ... "I ... I think someone's trying to kill us !"

Crisis Existential - "Your not real.  They're out of sodas downstairs."  Walks away petting The Rock, "But you are ... yes you are !"

~ the cheers and drinks in the evil lair (shitty warehouse) ~

('Hell to Pay' by ZZ Top v Vinnie Paz)

Maria - Wide eyed in bed after, smoking a cigarette.  "So what's different ?"

Eddie - Smoking, "What do you mean ?"

Maria - "I've never been fucked by anyone like you, and you have never fucked me like that.  You're clearly in a good mood.  So what's different ?"

Eddie - "I don't know, let's check the news."  

Maria - "You never want to watch news together."

Eddie - "I guess my senses are just tingling me.  Might be something interesting ... let's fined out."  Grabs the control and flips on the TV across from the bed to the news.  All about Divisible Girl.

Maria - "Oh my God how did you know."

Eddie - "I told you.  One by one."

Maria - "Ha !  I wish."  She watches the report.  "Wonder why they didn't call me."

Eddie - "Turned your phone off."

Maria - "Bastard.  But worth it.  It would have been complicated too reach for it in that position."

Eddie - "Glad they didn't call me."

Maria - "Turned your phone off."

Eddie - "I love you."

Maria - Snaps her head to, "What the fuck did you just say to me ?"

Eddie - "I'm not afraid of you."  Voiced over as she stares into him probing almost maliciously, "That was a lie.  I'm goddamn terrified."

She smiles wry into a kiss, they put out their smokes to the dark fade amid the sound of the reports.