Because I fear not to stand before God, eye to eye, speaking of my
life, my battles and accomplishments, my victories with no hidden
shame. Because I sit among the honorable true, where no secrets need be
kept, and I laugh.
Because I stand before the longest rows of my ancestors and proclaim to them the battles won, evils ended, and the many honors brought to our name. Because I speak as equal to all, and God as friend. Because you know no one like me, nor what it means to be.
And thus you know not power nor resource. Trust nor love. Strength nor what it means to be responsible for all you can see. And to see so far. You know not what happened before you, and even less of what comes next.
Because I am. And I am Gargarean.
____
________
________
____
Did you know that the Delphine Oracle was an Amazon?
It's a secret. The hardest part was getting her there.
The Amazons were Kaskian, from the region now of Northern Turkey and Southern Georgia, along the Caucasus Mountain Range. Among the Kaskians, my heritage, Women and men fought side by side, with no more likelihood in battle allotted either gender.
Within our people there were two special tribes. The Amazons of whom we all well know and the Gargareans. These were the people who lived outside the Amazon Wood, defending it's secrets. They were all men.
Once a year in the Moon's Breezes, after the hottest of summer days, the Amazons would come out of their Wood and greet their men. It was a Joyous night, and for some it was ceremonially orgiastic and for some sweet moments it was a chance for old lovers to hold each other again.
And then in the Spring, when the Sun's breezes were the kindest, the Amazons would again emerge from their Misty Wood to bring the men their sons, Mother holding Her son one last time ...
And to show them their Daughters,whom the men could not touch, He never sees his Daughter again and know she was of him. She would be strong.
It was good.
And then the Conquests, the Borders and Trade Routes. The wars were taking a different taste, a coldness within these new "warriors" not ... And their Maps and lines drawn upon ... such strange demands made thereafter more.
So there was a plan.
These men of lines and maps and tiles were always so paranoid ... the Priestesses in the Pleasant Temples would report when they returned home to their Sisters. And the Baccante would report the nobles' wives' devotion still to the Old Ways by then forbidden ...
The Delphine Oracle was formed.
This gave the Amazons a subtly whispered voice in all the affairs of the day. And when a new Oracle was required, it was Gargareans who would smuggle them, bound in bales of Demeter's Wheat, to the Gargarean priests already in Delphi.
Battles were turned, Imperators were slain and deposed, all due to the subtlest whispers, never too obvious and never too slight.
And it was good.
____
________
________
____
"the seven dreams"
Oh
Sweet
Freedom ! to dwell
In the stars
And live
Again ...
Again and again and again
I live !
No matter how hard,
Anew every day
Every way every day
It's never the same.
You only carry what you dwell in you know,
And I carry with me ~
A dream.
Did you know ...
The first dream was of life ?
And that's where we live.
The second was of love ...
And that's why we give.
The third dream is ours
And that's of new ideas.
But the fourth dream
Is mine all mine.
So I let it rain on me
For saturation. Purification.
And my intrinsic right to be.
What then could be so brave as to dream
The fifth most dream of all dreams?
Those are your nightmares of course and you know them so well as they know you so well in terror lands of sweat soaked wrinkles and scream lost looking for rhymes but there are none.
The sixth dream always will wake you just in time.
The one just before
You died in five.
But the seventh is for your soul alone,
So you'll always know that you're still alive.
That's all the dreams I know of ...
And of the fourth I'll never tell.
(: There's no point !
We'll see it together
Just as soon as we've all heard
The loudest single knell.
____
________
________
____
"silence"
In nights of silence the shadows do whisper me.
They whisper me fear,
They whisper me joy,
They tell me of dreams and delusions.
In days of noise the nuances do soothe me
The way of things to become one song
And to dance beyond the illusions.
In my bath of meditation, the spirits and gods,
Goddesses and ghosts,
We make our plans
Because every problem has a solution.
But in the night
When the shadows do whisper me
Of fate's future history, the mystery becomes
Resolution.
Choices are chosen as oracles moan
Threads are woven and decisions are sewn
Seeds are planted and vines are grown
And showers do feed them unto the last tone ...
A harp !
Not a horn, it was borne away too long ago, Gone !
For any to remember the December of God's love.
But in the strings of theory and wine
You can still hear the echo of a song
In nights of silence.
____
________
________
____
"the opiate"
Tell me everything you think you know.
I'll listen.
Tell me the dream you had - I'm not going to interpret it.
Tell me about the god you believe in - I won't worship it.
Tell me all the beautiful lies of the heart you truly believe
And tell me All of the reasons why you do.
Tell me what you want - I don't have it
Tell me what you Need - I won't give it to you.
Tell me of divinity swinging on ayahuasca vines
Tell me of sweet fruits from the cactus
Of green drinks from dirty bottles
And Then do tell me of love ...
I might just believe you ...
Maybe just a little bit ...
Just before you've gone again.
____
________
________
____
"I laugh a lot"
Death came for cards, clicking his walking stick on the tiles of my floor. One eyed and painted bones, he came for me. "Not that deck." He rattled on.
Neither fifty-two nor seventy eight. "Give me twenty two." Point A to be death came for me. "Now draw."
He called each card while telling his tale, the tale of death stalking a man. Death stalking a man who would not be had ... "Twice you've escaped me and this is your third." We played on as he called each card, each card an arc in my story's demise.
His smiling bones did rattle me, "You're a hanged man. From the rafters of the tower where the devil will meet you tied ! And then it will be ..."
"The fool !" I cried out laughing mad for my victory.
My card and the echoing mirth at his third and final defeat led him spiraling to a rage and death did stalk me still ... against all law. So when his poison was set to take me I broke his old bones instead.
And now in my own left hand death's walking stick does click the tiles of my floor.
____
________
________
____
Because I stand before the longest rows of my ancestors and proclaim to them the battles won, evils ended, and the many honors brought to our name. Because I speak as equal to all, and God as friend. Because you know no one like me, nor what it means to be.
And thus you know not power nor resource. Trust nor love. Strength nor what it means to be responsible for all you can see. And to see so far. You know not what happened before you, and even less of what comes next.
Because I am. And I am Gargarean.
____
________
________
____
Did you know that the Delphine Oracle was an Amazon?
It's a secret. The hardest part was getting her there.
The Amazons were Kaskian, from the region now of Northern Turkey and Southern Georgia, along the Caucasus Mountain Range. Among the Kaskians, my heritage, Women and men fought side by side, with no more likelihood in battle allotted either gender.
Within our people there were two special tribes. The Amazons of whom we all well know and the Gargareans. These were the people who lived outside the Amazon Wood, defending it's secrets. They were all men.
Once a year in the Moon's Breezes, after the hottest of summer days, the Amazons would come out of their Wood and greet their men. It was a Joyous night, and for some it was ceremonially orgiastic and for some sweet moments it was a chance for old lovers to hold each other again.
And then in the Spring, when the Sun's breezes were the kindest, the Amazons would again emerge from their Misty Wood to bring the men their sons, Mother holding Her son one last time ...
And to show them their Daughters,whom the men could not touch, He never sees his Daughter again and know she was of him. She would be strong.
It was good.
And then the Conquests, the Borders and Trade Routes. The wars were taking a different taste, a coldness within these new "warriors" not ... And their Maps and lines drawn upon ... such strange demands made thereafter more.
So there was a plan.
These men of lines and maps and tiles were always so paranoid ... the Priestesses in the Pleasant Temples would report when they returned home to their Sisters. And the Baccante would report the nobles' wives' devotion still to the Old Ways by then forbidden ...
The Delphine Oracle was formed.
This gave the Amazons a subtly whispered voice in all the affairs of the day. And when a new Oracle was required, it was Gargareans who would smuggle them, bound in bales of Demeter's Wheat, to the Gargarean priests already in Delphi.
Battles were turned, Imperators were slain and deposed, all due to the subtlest whispers, never too obvious and never too slight.
And it was good.
____
________
________
____
"the seven dreams"
Oh
Sweet
Freedom ! to dwell
In the stars
And live
Again ...
Again and again and again
I live !
No matter how hard,
Anew every day
Every way every day
It's never the same.
You only carry what you dwell in you know,
And I carry with me ~
A dream.
Did you know ...
The first dream was of life ?
And that's where we live.
The second was of love ...
And that's why we give.
The third dream is ours
And that's of new ideas.
But the fourth dream
Is mine all mine.
So I let it rain on me
For saturation. Purification.
And my intrinsic right to be.
What then could be so brave as to dream
The fifth most dream of all dreams?
Those are your nightmares of course and you know them so well as they know you so well in terror lands of sweat soaked wrinkles and scream lost looking for rhymes but there are none.
The sixth dream always will wake you just in time.
The one just before
You died in five.
But the seventh is for your soul alone,
So you'll always know that you're still alive.
That's all the dreams I know of ...
And of the fourth I'll never tell.
(: There's no point !
We'll see it together
Just as soon as we've all heard
The loudest single knell.
____
________
________
____
"silence"
In nights of silence the shadows do whisper me.
They whisper me fear,
They whisper me joy,
They tell me of dreams and delusions.
In days of noise the nuances do soothe me
The way of things to become one song
And to dance beyond the illusions.
In my bath of meditation, the spirits and gods,
Goddesses and ghosts,
We make our plans
Because every problem has a solution.
But in the night
When the shadows do whisper me
Of fate's future history, the mystery becomes
Resolution.
Choices are chosen as oracles moan
Threads are woven and decisions are sewn
Seeds are planted and vines are grown
And showers do feed them unto the last tone ...
A harp !
Not a horn, it was borne away too long ago, Gone !
For any to remember the December of God's love.
But in the strings of theory and wine
You can still hear the echo of a song
In nights of silence.
____
________
________
____
"the opiate"
Tell me everything you think you know.
I'll listen.
Tell me the dream you had - I'm not going to interpret it.
Tell me about the god you believe in - I won't worship it.
Tell me all the beautiful lies of the heart you truly believe
And tell me All of the reasons why you do.
Tell me what you want - I don't have it
Tell me what you Need - I won't give it to you.
Tell me of divinity swinging on ayahuasca vines
Tell me of sweet fruits from the cactus
Of green drinks from dirty bottles
And Then do tell me of love ...
I might just believe you ...
Maybe just a little bit ...
Just before you've gone again.
____
________
________
____
"I laugh a lot"
Death came for cards, clicking his walking stick on the tiles of my floor. One eyed and painted bones, he came for me. "Not that deck." He rattled on.
Neither fifty-two nor seventy eight. "Give me twenty two." Point A to be death came for me. "Now draw."
He called each card while telling his tale, the tale of death stalking a man. Death stalking a man who would not be had ... "Twice you've escaped me and this is your third." We played on as he called each card, each card an arc in my story's demise.
His smiling bones did rattle me, "You're a hanged man. From the rafters of the tower where the devil will meet you tied ! And then it will be ..."
"The fool !" I cried out laughing mad for my victory.
My card and the echoing mirth at his third and final defeat led him spiraling to a rage and death did stalk me still ... against all law. So when his poison was set to take me I broke his old bones instead.
And now in my own left hand death's walking stick does click the tiles of my floor.
____
________
________
____
"venerated" - a train in 20 seconds
Separations of the nations and we're lost in contemplations, on vacations from our stations and infernal tossed dictations where the mages pay our wages and the cages make them sages while the ages are the gauges and the pages they are burned.
It's dictated and it's stated and it's reit-
Erated
So be it be
Sated !
So maybe it's just Fated !
We're scrawled and clean Slated and
Then perpetuated while i waited and i waited and i waited and i waited and i ! Wait !
. . . .
But the lesson will
Never be
Learned !
Separations of the nations and we're lost in contemplations, on vacations from our stations and infernal tossed dictations where the mages pay our wages and the cages make them sages while the ages are the gauges and the pages they are burned.
It's dictated and it's stated and it's reit-
Erated
So be it be
Sated !
So maybe it's just Fated !
We're scrawled and clean Slated and
Then perpetuated while i waited and i waited and i waited and i waited and i ! Wait !
. . . .
But the lesson will
Never be
Learned !