~ Switchblade ~
popcorn ~ volume i
Child talking in the still black screen ~
Gura - "So here's the thing about popcorn. We all love the popcorn. It's part of the whole movie going experience."
Sibelle - "I like popcorn."
Gura - "Yah. Everyone likes popcorn."
Goya - "I don't like popcorn. It gets stuck in my teeth."
Sibelle - "That's pretty weird."
Goya - "You're pretty weird."
Sibelle - "I accept one of those two descriptives. Continue."
Gura - "Thank you. So the thing about popcorn is, what if they banned it ?"
Sibelle - "Whoa."
Goya - "They would never ... "
Sibelle - "They never would."
Gura - "Unless they wanted to destroy the movie going experience."
Goya - "But ... that's Evil."
Gura - "It is. Also probably good for old people's cholesterol."
Sibelle - "Old people who watch a lot of movies."
Gura - "Correct. But say you wanted to destroy movie theaters ... "
Sibelle - "I would never ... "
Gura - "No I mean like evil you."
Sibelle - "MUAHAHAHAHA ... got it."
Gura - "If you wanted to destroy theaters, just take away the popcorn."
Goya - "It could be the best movie in the world ... "
Sibelle - "And No one would go see it. They'd be too busy being outraged ... muahaaa ... I like evil me. That's a really good plan."
Gura - "No it's not. It's a commentary."
Goya - "On what ?"
Gura - "Literally. Everything."
The
camera comes on to two girls and a boy walking down streets filled with
faux outrage, Gura floating cross legged and pulled on a string by the
Sibelle, the boy (Goya) kicking rocks. People protesting this movie in
front of the theater they enter.
Goya - "I like Dots."
~ popcorn ~
Starring
(: ! Humans ! :)
(i swear we totally are)
The theater is frantically deconstructed around them by Sanctuary witches (A Book of Names until laid bare while the city all around them is taken down in high speed.
Directed by
That one guy !
(actually probably is)
That one guy !
(actually probably is)
Then constructing Midwich in its place, ending with the theater. As
they hand the new moon by a string ... it falls destroying the
downtown. They swarm the crash to lift it back up, this ti me double
knotting the string like a shoe lace.
They hurriedly re-stack the crushed building parts, brad swaths off duct tape where required. They drop the employees into their places behind the bar, then the ticket takers as the camera turns back to audience view.
The ceiling above, the screen is stretched to the wall with tacks.
They hurriedly re-stack the crushed building parts, brad swaths off duct tape where required. They drop the employees into their places behind the bar, then the ticket takers as the camera turns back to audience view.
The ceiling above, the screen is stretched to the wall with tacks.
Written by
Alan Smithee ... ?
Alan Smithee ... ?
(uncertain)
The
view goes out the back door and into the alley behind at night, moon
still swinging on its string as the witches scatter away ~
A Big Chicken Production
fuck 'em
A deep voice in the dark to a child ~ "What did they do ?" The hooded figure leans back into the child's whisper,
"These 'humans' ... and then tell me who." The sound of ratcheting steel, metal grinding on concrete, nearby traffic outside the alley shows around the 2010's.
The
child's whisper into his ear ... eyes begin to glow a rage in flesh
stripped sockets, rusted bone worn through at the cheeks.
The man - "ooh ... and then noo ... " A last rattle of iron closure as the child watches him rise ...
('Fire and Brimstone' by Death Valley Girls)
~ Switchblade ~
~ A cargo ship plows for the harbor, knocking the fishing boats and tugs aside.
Voice on the telephone ~ Nervously voiced over the scene, "You don't understand, nobody can know where I'm going."
Woman on the other end ~ "I'm sorry, but we have to register your papers though the consulate."
~ The ship ignores all calls to stop as it approaches the docks at speed.
Voice ~ "No you don't."
Voice on the telephone ~ Nervously voiced over the scene, "You don't understand, nobody can know where I'm going."
Woman on the other end ~ "I'm sorry, but we have to register your papers though the consulate."
~ The ship ignores all calls to stop as it approaches the docks at speed.
Voice ~ "No you don't."
~ The sirens sound ...
Other ~ A sigh ... "It will cost."
Voice ~ "I wouldn't trust it any other way."
~ It crashes the docks.
Other ~ A sigh ... "It will cost."
Voice ~ "I wouldn't trust it any other way."
~ It crashes the docks.
('Antagonist' by Nova Twins)
Guy with that voice on the phone and some local friends curious in the nightclub ~
Dead man drinking - "I don't know. I don't know" Drinks then waves for another. "Goddamn it what is that Noise !?"
The cloaked man walks through the nightclub, security and police swarming too halt, any gunfire not deflected by his heavy bladed arms seems pointless anyway as his progress is continuous and in a very straight line, death meeting any who seek to damage him, the rest tossed aside.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected I mean ... " The drink comes, "Thank you now fuck off." Slams it and calls after "Hey ! Get me another one and hold fucking the spit."
The man tears the head from an attacker and beats down the next with it until both are crushed.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected ... do you hear that fucking Sound !?"
The crowd parts while those without notice he walks through, the sweep of a heavy metal arm tosses a crowd inoffensively.
He's shot in the back by a security man covered in blood ~
Switchblade - Turns showing his flesh stretched over a rusted out skull, "Oh no oh no ... you've shot me full of holes." The blades ratchet out from his arms as he turns, "But I've got no blood left to give so get ye no bowls." Leaps forth.
~ Man at the table ~
DMD - "All they know is they were all by a ... rusty machete. ... maybe an axe. Where's that fucking bitch with my drink !?"
Switchblade - Looming over the dead man drinking, "None left to give, but choke on your own, you will, for as long as you live."
The sound of rusted blade scraping rusted metal to black, music out. The promised gurgling sound, then screams and more gun shots.
Dead man drinking - "I don't know. I don't know" Drinks then waves for another. "Goddamn it what is that Noise !?"
The cloaked man walks through the nightclub, security and police swarming too halt, any gunfire not deflected by his heavy bladed arms seems pointless anyway as his progress is continuous and in a very straight line, death meeting any who seek to damage him, the rest tossed aside.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected I mean ... " The drink comes, "Thank you now fuck off." Slams it and calls after "Hey ! Get me another one and hold fucking the spit."
The man tears the head from an attacker and beats down the next with it until both are crushed.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected ... do you hear that fucking Sound !?"
The crowd parts while those without notice he walks through, the sweep of a heavy metal arm tosses a crowd inoffensively.
He's shot in the back by a security man covered in blood ~
Switchblade - Turns showing his flesh stretched over a rusted out skull, "Oh no oh no ... you've shot me full of holes." The blades ratchet out from his arms as he turns, "But I've got no blood left to give so get ye no bowls." Leaps forth.
~ Man at the table ~
DMD - "All they know is they were all by a ... rusty machete. ... maybe an axe. Where's that fucking bitch with my drink !?"
Switchblade - Looming over the dead man drinking, "None left to give, but choke on your own, you will, for as long as you live."
The sound of rusted blade scraping rusted metal to black, music out. The promised gurgling sound, then screams and more gun shots.
________________
Politico - In a local government office, surrounded by others with their papers and rando ass kissery when the well tailored lawyer arrives, "Alright everybody fuck off out of here, I need to talk to the bastard."
Lawyer - Grins wicked, "So declared."
Politico - In a local government office, surrounded by others with their papers and rando ass kissery when the well tailored lawyer arrives, "Alright everybody fuck off out of here, I need to talk to the bastard."
Lawyer - Grins wicked, "So declared."
~ At the cafe, talking over the loud music, Gabrielle waiting tables in the background,
Raphael working in the kitchen behind the order up slot in the wall.
Miserella
(because that's literally the first name I could think of that isn't of
someone I know) - "Yah nobody knows where he went. He just started
acting weird and then he was gone. Cleaned out all the accounts and
just ... gone."
Bets (short for Betsy ... ? Because people used to actually name their poor children things like that) - "So I guess there goes tuition ... "
Miserella - "Yeah. All gone. I can't even pay property taxes, that place is huge."
Bets (short for Betsy ... ? Because people used to actually name their poor children things like that) - "So I guess there goes tuition ... "
Miserella - "Yeah. All gone. I can't even pay property taxes, that place is huge."
Bets
- "Can you at least sell the art collection ?"
Miserella - "I've got some leech coming to look at it ... I don't know."
~ From the scene with her dad in the club, "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know."
Bets - "So what like ... a Job !?"
Miserella looks at her like she may kill.
~ The nightclub waitress spits in the drink, eyes go wide at the scene, drops it and screams.
Miserella's water is filled by Gabrielle (their diner waitress).
____________
Miserella - "I've got some leech coming to look at it ... I don't know."
~ From the scene with her dad in the club, "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know."
Bets - "So what like ... a Job !?"
Miserella looks at her like she may kill.
~ The nightclub waitress spits in the drink, eyes go wide at the scene, drops it and screams.
Miserella's water is filled by Gabrielle (their diner waitress).
____________
Some
hipster looking motherfucker in shades and a cheap suit walking down
the street on his cellphone over the chaos and screams of the horror
streets. - "We have a what ?"
~ In the chief's office.
Chief - "We have a monster ... " Leans back in his chair grinning ... a glance to the drawer ...
~ In the chief's office.
Chief - "We have a monster ... " Leans back in his chair grinning ... a glance to the drawer ...
Hunter - A sigh with a patient smile, "Please do."
Motions his silence as he gets up to close the office door. All eyes
look with concern as the window slats close to block their view. He
turns back to see the chief already chugging the bottle straight.
Caps it and chucks it back to the drawer.
Hunter - ... "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "I do. A monster." The ratcheting sound. "And it won't fucking die."
Hunter - Sloughs back to the chair ... "So why me ?"
Chief - "Because you've got the same issue."
~ The bullets fly as he nearly appears to walk between them shooting back, one shot and a forehead each. Pockets the pistol and lights a smoke as another bullet tears the sleeve of his very nice jacket. He looks angrily to the source still pointing scared, his pistol clicks a misfire.
~ The oncoming fist.
Hunter - "Yeah I may have that issue too."
Chief - "And why is that ? Do you think."
Hunter - Suddenly serious in the eyes, "Because fate is a merciless whore." A flash of a grin and a drink from the bottle before passing it back.
Chief - "With a heart as cruel as the sea ... "
~ Miserella - Wearing a hotdog on a stick uniform at the mall with a big dumb hat demonstrating the name, "Fuck this."
Chief - Bottle toast, "Amen to that." Drinks, caps and drops into the drawer.
Hunter - Pulling his pack of smokes, "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "Disgusting habit." Slams the drawer (the doubling's intentional).
Miserella - "And fine I'm Selling the art the creepy guy's coming tomorrow. You know the art world is strangely underground it was like a drug deal I had to meet him in some warehouse in the middle of the night with a Picasso wrapped in brown paper."
Bets - "And he was legit ?"
Caps it and chucks it back to the drawer.
Hunter - ... "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "I do. A monster." The ratcheting sound. "And it won't fucking die."
Hunter - Sloughs back to the chair ... "So why me ?"
Chief - "Because you've got the same issue."
~ The bullets fly as he nearly appears to walk between them shooting back, one shot and a forehead each. Pockets the pistol and lights a smoke as another bullet tears the sleeve of his very nice jacket. He looks angrily to the source still pointing scared, his pistol clicks a misfire.
~ The oncoming fist.
Hunter - "Yeah I may have that issue too."
Chief - "And why is that ? Do you think."
Hunter - Suddenly serious in the eyes, "Because fate is a merciless whore." A flash of a grin and a drink from the bottle before passing it back.
Chief - "With a heart as cruel as the sea ... "
~ Miserella - Wearing a hotdog on a stick uniform at the mall with a big dumb hat demonstrating the name, "Fuck this."
Chief - Bottle toast, "Amen to that." Drinks, caps and drops into the drawer.
Hunter - Pulling his pack of smokes, "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "Disgusting habit." Slams the drawer (the doubling's intentional).
('Cecilia' by Simon and Garfunkel)
Two
black dogs run barking to the shredded outer fence of a property
expanse, inside a frightened man packs quickly, stuffing cash to a bag
and turning for the door. Outside the security team closes in after the
dogs.
~ While Miserella roller-skates around her massive empty
house in her drive in theater uniform (movie screen on her head showing
security footage of the scene).
The hounds stop barking at the
cloaked man as his his legs split on two as now a tall beast looking
down at these two. He leaps over and bounds on the mechanical stretched with blades ratcheting out,
naked beneath the cloak but for the many straps required to hold
together his appendages over flesh which seem there only to hold
together what's rusted bone and blade.
~ then out the backdoor and into the pool.
He charges the attackers with a swipe to the bullets as though annoyances, side to side leaps now harder to track, and then into the fray.
Switchblade
- "Overrated to be sated when the flesh is liberated to be dated and be
freighted like you're supermarket baited now you're crated consecrated
to be funeral fated there'll be flowers there'll be powers there'll be lots of fallen towers as I scour and devour every hour after hour
..."
To the last dropping his gun, hands up in terror before falling to his
knees.
Switchblade - "So now you cower."
He smiles as the dogs run up, tearing
the security man apart. Looks to the sound of the starting engine then
leaps away while the dogs take their screaming meal, the sound of
crunching metal in the distance.
('Down by the Water' by PJ Harvey)
Miserella
watches the huge fight breaking out directly in front of her Shake
Shack counter annoyed, an equally stupid uniform with a hat like a shake
with a straw sticking out of what would be her brain ...
While in an unknown motel the Hunter watches a woman ride.
~ Switchblade jacks his arm, dropping a cable, He pulls an old school portable television from his cloak, extra wiring hanging from. He sets it on a stone.
It's actually a pretty good fight.
In the motel ...
~ He scurries up the telephone pole.
She laughs sipping before the owner points to the stupid shack door to leave.
~ Jacks it in and drops down near, as the screen statics on to the next scene.
____
Security footage ~
Switchblade - Pulling his blades from the broken hood of the broken car, "Evil dragon, you conceal my prey, but have him still, I will, for you are not my first slay. Inside your glass eyes, I see the man you venerate, and so your foul scales ... I must penetrate."
While in an unknown motel the Hunter watches a woman ride.
~ Switchblade jacks his arm, dropping a cable, He pulls an old school portable television from his cloak, extra wiring hanging from. He sets it on a stone.
It's actually a pretty good fight.
In the motel ...
~ He scurries up the telephone pole.
She laughs sipping before the owner points to the stupid shack door to leave.
~ Jacks it in and drops down near, as the screen statics on to the next scene.
____
Security footage ~
Switchblade - Pulling his blades from the broken hood of the broken car, "Evil dragon, you conceal my prey, but have him still, I will, for you are not my first slay. Inside your glass eyes, I see the man you venerate, and so your foul scales ... I must penetrate."
Tears
the door off, then two fast stabs before walking away. The two dogs
are briefly seen as they circle at the bottom corner of the screen to
follow dopishly.
____
Hunter - "And my fee ?"
Chief - "You're a 'Headhunter'. Your fee's for a head. So you bring me a fucking head ... and I'll pay your fucking fee ! Now get the fuck out of here and start earning it."
________________
Hunter - "And my fee ?"
Chief - "You're a 'Headhunter'. Your fee's for a head. So you bring me a fucking head ... and I'll pay your fucking fee ! Now get the fuck out of here and start earning it."
________________
Miserella
- Flipping burgers on the barbecue while wearing a Red Rocket (see GI
Joe) on her head, "What I already paid the year's property taxes so all I
need is food."
Bets - "Um."
Bets - "Um."
Miserella - "What !? I Got this."
Bets - "Fine. But you only eat hamburgers now."
Miserella - "And sausages ! Because do You know where the kitchen is in this place !? I skated all the fuck around it I have no fucking clue."
Bets - "I see."
Bets - "Fine. But you only eat hamburgers now."
Miserella - "And sausages ! Because do You know where the kitchen is in this place !? I skated all the fuck around it I have no fucking clue."
Bets - "I see."
...
Miserella - "I sleep in the living room now. I set up little kitchen in the closet."
Miserella - "I sleep in the living room now. I set up little kitchen in the closet."
...
Miserella - "And fine I'm Selling the art the creepy guy's coming tomorrow. You know the art world is strangely underground it was like a drug deal I had to meet him in some warehouse in the middle of the night with a Picasso wrapped in brown paper."
Bets - "And he was legit ?"
Miserella - "He was cash. But he had it ! So ... " Pulls out a calculator (?), "If I eat $3000 dollars a month ... that's ... huh."
Bets - "What about fuck around funds."
Miserella - "I have no idea how to unload doubloons."
________
Chief - As the hunter heads for the door, mind now deep in thoughts and plans, "Oh hey. I almost forgot. Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little apartment."
Hunter - Stops dead and looks up. "Fuck me."
Chief - "I'd rather fuck a lawnmower."
________
Meanwhile at his shitty little apartment three men wait ...
Obvious lead - Reaching into his pocket, "This guy ... I need a cup of coffee." The two men smash the door open, he looks up from his lock-pick set ... "Jesus Christ. You. Make the fucking coffee."
First - "I'm sorry." Sulks into the apartment.
Lead - "And you go wait outside, you get no fucking coffee at all."
Second - "aw." Sulks away.
________
Bets - "What about fuck around funds."
Miserella - "I have no idea how to unload doubloons."
________
Chief - As the hunter heads for the door, mind now deep in thoughts and plans, "Oh hey. I almost forgot. Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little apartment."
Hunter - Stops dead and looks up. "Fuck me."
Chief - "I'd rather fuck a lawnmower."
________
Meanwhile at his shitty little apartment three men wait ...
Obvious lead - Reaching into his pocket, "This guy ... I need a cup of coffee." The two men smash the door open, he looks up from his lock-pick set ... "Jesus Christ. You. Make the fucking coffee."
First - "I'm sorry." Sulks into the apartment.
Lead - "And you go wait outside, you get no fucking coffee at all."
Second - "aw." Sulks away.
________
Bets - "Why not just get a smaller house !?"
Miserella - "Because I want to be able to start a school for gifted youngsters."
...
Bets - "Is that a joke ?"
Miserella - "Yeah but the thing is I know if I sell the house I probably won't be able to again."
Miserella - "Yeah but the thing is I know if I sell the house I probably won't be able to again."
...
Miserella - "You know. Just in case."
...
Miserella - "You know. Just in case."
...
Bets - "I see ... well what about turning it into like a party motel ?"
Miserella - "That's actually a way better idea."
Miserella - "That's actually a way better idea."
~ two
~ In the morning ...
The Hunter walks through the smashed door. "Jesus Christ." To the lead on the couch, "You know I'd have expected you guys to use a lock-pick.
Lead - Puts down the coffee (the Hunter eyes the stupid mug), "Local hires."
Hunter - "Why would Interpol need local door crashers ?"
Lead - "Because, like the video you saw with your chief, the entire story, it's all a fake."
The Hunter walks through the smashed door. "Jesus Christ." To the lead on the couch, "You know I'd have expected you guys to use a lock-pick.
Lead - Puts down the coffee (the Hunter eyes the stupid mug), "Local hires."
Hunter - "Why would Interpol need local door crashers ?"
Lead - "Because, like the video you saw with your chief, the entire story, it's all a fake."
Hunter - "No it's not."
____
Art Dealer - "Yesss My dear Miserella, yes it is." Sets the painting down and moves on to the next.
____
Hunter - "No. It's not."
____
Bets - Leans into Miserella's ear and whispers, "He'll try to buy it later for way cheaper, saying it's still a high quality reproduction."
Miserella (wearing a 20 foot gown) - "I knew I hated this guy." Walks to the painting and puts her foot through it, looks to the dealer's stunned eyes, "Next time you want to talk that shit to me we all watch another masterpiece die, I've got plenty to spare. Next one."
Dealer - "Needs restoration."
Miserella - Examines it closer, "How much ?" Pulls a switchblade and flips it.
Bets - "Where the fuck did you even get that."
Lawyer - Clears his throat, "One hundred thousand."
Miserella - "On ?"
Lawyer - "One million plus at auction. I get twenty percent."
Miserella - "Sold !"
________________
The rear cargo door kicks open, the compartment flooding with dogs, the cloaked man extending bladed arms and cutting away. Gunfire flashing through the windows as seen from outside the plane at night from the responding security as he works his way, dogs leaping for throats amid the decompression paperwork. A head flies by the ports, followed by a dog trying to catch it.
Makes the cockpit, the terrified pilot and co with the attendants alone remaining.
Switchblade - To the nearest attendant, "Descend we do leave your corpses to fate, if you've got left a reason to slate then fate will create for you, a way to see this through, if only that evil you lack."
Looks out the cockpit glass as the ground approaches.
He stabs the controls through with one arm after the other into the pilot's and co's stations.
The eyes go wide as they all turn to for the back, tripping over dogs and body pieces, a stewardess is overcome by the moment and carnage, falls apart and just screams ...
~ Engines burst to flames.
Air crews in the padded steel crates, the lids slam shut. The rescue trucks depart their garages, ground crews to station.
~ Wings crumple, now just a complete fireball.
(2:30) It scrapes ground with no gear down, skidding with a bounce and a spin, wreckage in the air as a sealed cargo container filled with screaming attendants flies spinning by the camera's view.
____
Miserella - "There goes the Renoir ... "
Bets - Watches with concern as a couple of rottweilers run by ... "A Renoir would feed this many dogs for like a month."
Miserella - "Fuck !"
____________
Hunter - Straightening his tie in the shitty motel mirror, "Now do you believe in monsters ?"
Woman (from before) - Walks up behind and fixing his collar, she whispers in his ear with the voice on the phone from the beginning. "I don't believe in shit."
And suddenly he's behind her, she looks back.
Woman - "Neither God nor the devil." He puts the flip razor to her throat, a tear from her eye. "But yes I do believe in monsters."
Hunter - Whispers in her ear with a hand sliding around her throat, "One more call."
Woman - Terrified, "And then we're done ?"
Hunter - Cuts a strap from her slip and smiles, "And then we're done."
~ Miserella washes examines her face in the bathroom mirror at the coffee shop, looks down to wash her hands and looks up as the Hunter slashes her throat from behind. Then gone with no wound left but a definitive red stripe set into flesh.
The Hunter walks new streets smoking, watches an airplane descend for landing overhead ...
Smoking in the crowd, past homeless camps and burning protests, police beatings and murder, sunglasses on. A police shootout at the bank as the Hunter walks between the bullets, passing just before the panic explosion.
____
Art Dealer - "Yesss My dear Miserella, yes it is." Sets the painting down and moves on to the next.
____
Hunter - "No. It's not."
____
Bets - Leans into Miserella's ear and whispers, "He'll try to buy it later for way cheaper, saying it's still a high quality reproduction."
Miserella (wearing a 20 foot gown) - "I knew I hated this guy." Walks to the painting and puts her foot through it, looks to the dealer's stunned eyes, "Next time you want to talk that shit to me we all watch another masterpiece die, I've got plenty to spare. Next one."
Dealer - "Needs restoration."
Miserella - Examines it closer, "How much ?" Pulls a switchblade and flips it.
Bets - "Where the fuck did you even get that."
Lawyer - Clears his throat, "One hundred thousand."
Miserella - "On ?"
Lawyer - "One million plus at auction. I get twenty percent."
Miserella - "Sold !"
________________
Hunter - "He's a man. Disfigured. Lost. And probably in a lot of pain but still, just a man."
Lead - A laugh to himself leaning back, he takes the cup and drinks, Hunter eying the cup. "Sure. Two outta three, but he's not lost. There is a pattern. These men do have commonality."
Hunter - "Then why haven't you intercepted him ?"
Lead - "Because it's a very common, commonality. They're perverts. Pedophiles. Rapists of children. But unfortunately we only know about it looking postmortem. When it all come out. Now. What we've seen is, that the victims knew he was coming for the
Lead - A laugh to himself leaning back, he takes the cup and drinks, Hunter eying the cup. "Sure. Two outta three, but he's not lost. There is a pattern. These men do have commonality."
Hunter - "Then why haven't you intercepted him ?"
Lead - "Because it's a very common, commonality. They're perverts. Pedophiles. Rapists of children. But unfortunately we only know about it looking postmortem. When it all come out. Now. What we've seen is, that the victims knew he was coming for the
m, so they know that commonality. One event."
Hunter - "Like one particular girl ? Girl ?"
Lead - "Yes, it seems most likely to have been a female child."
Hunter - "Have been ? Was there a body ?"
Lead - "No. Or maybe. Frankly there's been a lot of bodies, it's hard to say. But these murders started ten years ago, she'd probably be an adult by now. She may not even have a clue."
____
Miserella - "I don't even know where all these dogs fucking came from."
____
The woman's voice on the phone - "Of course. But it will cost."
Desperate sounding man - "Of course it will cost. About as much as you do. Arrange it."
Pilot comm chatter as a large private plane descends for landing ~
Hunter - "Like one particular girl ? Girl ?"
Lead - "Yes, it seems most likely to have been a female child."
Hunter - "Have been ? Was there a body ?"
Lead - "No. Or maybe. Frankly there's been a lot of bodies, it's hard to say. But these murders started ten years ago, she'd probably be an adult by now. She may not even have a clue."
____
Miserella - "I don't even know where all these dogs fucking came from."
____
The woman's voice on the phone - "Of course. But it will cost."
Desperate sounding man - "Of course it will cost. About as much as you do. Arrange it."
Pilot comm chatter as a large private plane descends for landing ~
('God's Gonna Cut You Down' by Johnny Cash)
The rear cargo door kicks open, the compartment flooding with dogs, the cloaked man extending bladed arms and cutting away. Gunfire flashing through the windows as seen from outside the plane at night from the responding security as he works his way, dogs leaping for throats amid the decompression paperwork. A head flies by the ports, followed by a dog trying to catch it.
Makes the cockpit, the terrified pilot and co with the attendants alone remaining.
Switchblade - To the nearest attendant, "Descend we do leave your corpses to fate, if you've got left a reason to slate then fate will create for you, a way to see this through, if only that evil you lack."
Looks out the cockpit glass as the ground approaches.
...
Switchblade - "Or you might try the crates we hid in, in the back." Smiles as the runway lights approach.
('Lost at Birth' by Public Enemy)
He stabs the controls through with one arm after the other into the pilot's and co's stations.
The eyes go wide as they all turn to for the back, tripping over dogs and body pieces, a stewardess is overcome by the moment and carnage, falls apart and just screams ...
Air crews in the padded steel crates, the lids slam shut. The rescue trucks depart their garages, ground crews to station.
~ Wings crumple, now just a complete fireball.
(2:30) It scrapes ground with no gear down, skidding with a bounce and a spin, wreckage in the air as a sealed cargo container filled with screaming attendants flies spinning by the camera's view.
____
Miserella - "There goes the Renoir ... "
Bets - Watches with concern as a couple of rottweilers run by ... "A Renoir would feed this many dogs for like a month."
Miserella - "Fuck !"
____________
Hunter - Straightening his tie in the shitty motel mirror, "Now do you believe in monsters ?"
Woman (from before) - Walks up behind and fixing his collar, she whispers in his ear with the voice on the phone from the beginning. "I don't believe in shit."
And suddenly he's behind her, she looks back.
Woman - "Neither God nor the devil." He puts the flip razor to her throat, a tear from her eye. "But yes I do believe in monsters."
Hunter - Whispers in her ear with a hand sliding around her throat, "One more call."
Woman - Terrified, "And then we're done ?"
Hunter - Cuts a strap from her slip and smiles, "And then we're done."
~ Miserella washes examines her face in the bathroom mirror at the coffee shop, looks down to wash her hands and looks up as the Hunter slashes her throat from behind. Then gone with no wound left but a definitive red stripe set into flesh.
('The Wind' by PJ Harvey)
The Hunter walks new streets smoking, watches an airplane descend for landing overhead ...
Smoking in the crowd, past homeless camps and burning protests, police beatings and murder, sunglasses on. A police shootout at the bank as the Hunter walks between the bullets, passing just before the panic explosion.
Hunter - "God I love this town." Looks at his watch. "Like a drill-bit through the skull."
~ He screams with the Midwich asylum's dated drill's motor, trying to break the gurney straps as it enters through just behind the ear, eyes straining to see.
Looks at his watch again, a smile as his phone rings ...
Chief - On the cell, "We've got a talker."
Hunter - Looking around with a smile, "Already there."
~ He screams with the Midwich asylum's dated drill's motor, trying to break the gurney straps as it enters through just behind the ear, eyes straining to see.
Looks at his watch again, a smile as his phone rings ...
Chief - On the cell, "We've got a talker."
Hunter - Looking around with a smile, "Already there."
~ three
~ Ten Years Ago ~
The Hunter, though clearly not yet walks to house pulling a cart filled with Bibles ~
Hunter - Looking up at the minor manor with a smile ... "A Bible in every bedroom ... " He looks at a folk art metal duck with frozen wind spinning wings. A curious smile before giving them a spin, then turns fast to the gate, realizing he was watched.
Young Miserella on a bicycle watches him from the gate with a smile ~
Hunter - Showing the source of that salesman smile ... "Well hello there ! Do you live here ?"
Miserella - Still smiling back, "Sometimes !" Gets off her bicycle and leans it on the fence before walking directly through him, leaving him stuck in a thick viscous effigy of time, struggling to move in its jelly.
All slows down in
Hunter - Looking up at the minor manor with a smile ... "A Bible in every bedroom ... " He looks at a folk art metal duck with frozen wind spinning wings. A curious smile before giving them a spin, then turns fast to the gate, realizing he was watched.
Young Miserella on a bicycle watches him from the gate with a smile ~
Hunter - Showing the source of that salesman smile ... "Well hello there ! Do you live here ?"
Miserella - Still smiling back, "Sometimes !" Gets off her bicycle and leans it on the fence before walking directly through him, leaving him stuck in a thick viscous effigy of time, struggling to move in its jelly.
All slows down in
his motion while time moves into a blur, until the lady of the house arrives and he's pulled back to our world.
Mom (prior 'the prostitute) - Smiles startled, "Oh ! Hello ... um. Bible salesman. ... Really ?" Heads for the door, unlocking it.
Hunter - "I've ... been stuck here. For a year. There was a girl ... she ... "
Mom - Suddenly serious, "Yeah. Look. I've got a guest coming ... you should go."
Hunter - Analyzing ... "Hey can I have a glass of water ?"
...
Mom - "Sure. But I'm not lying. Pull anything and he will kill you." Looks at the top of the Bible pile ... "Though That one ... you know my daughter might actually like that big one on top."
Hunter - "Ah. Yes ... 'The New Family Bible' ... very popular. Beveled cover and God's own gold on the trim ... wait, daughter ?"
Mom - "Yeah. Think you may already have met her. Still wanna make that sale ?"
...
Hunter - "Kinda !"
Mom - "That's the spirit. Come on in ! Though please leave the rest of the cart, it'll be fine."
He follows with apprehension, looking back to the cart and the sky ... then in the greet waiting until the cup of water. The sound of a motorcycle arriving, a sip as he watches her walk for the door just before the knock. Switchblade, but as a normal man.
Two smiles and a kiss in the frame.
Man - Looks at the salesman, "Huh. Didn't think your kind still existed." Takes the book from his frozen hands, looks at her. "You're right, she's gonna love it." A sideways smile at the salesman, "How much ?"
Hunter - "Free for some answers. Something very strange just happened to me."
Man - A shared look of concern with the mom, "Yeah ? How bout a bill instead of that."
Hunter - "Fair."
The door opens as the money changes hands ... two smiles trying too hard before the mom walks over with a hug.
Miserella - "You again."
The two men look at each other uncertain which she means, she walks for the stairs.
Hunter - To the Mom, "No I mean there's something really wrong here."
Man - After Miserella, "Look. Honey ... "
Miserella - "Don't call me that."
Mom - "Ohhh ... Les Mis ...
Miserella - "Stop."
And the man begins crumbling in pain, legs rotting from beneath him, arms scattering their flesh as all else returns to that viscous hell, the Hunter banging on the banister becoming a twisted thing, screaming muffled through the fog like water, "Demon from Hell. Demon from Hell ... DEMON From HELL !"
Miserella - Now holding the Bible, "You're right." Looks at the Hunter, "I just fucking love it." Turns back up the stairs.
Mom (prior 'the prostitute) - Smiles startled, "Oh ! Hello ... um. Bible salesman. ... Really ?" Heads for the door, unlocking it.
Hunter - "I've ... been stuck here. For a year. There was a girl ... she ... "
Mom - Suddenly serious, "Yeah. Look. I've got a guest coming ... you should go."
Hunter - Analyzing ... "Hey can I have a glass of water ?"
...
Mom - "Sure. But I'm not lying. Pull anything and he will kill you." Looks at the top of the Bible pile ... "Though That one ... you know my daughter might actually like that big one on top."
Hunter - "Ah. Yes ... 'The New Family Bible' ... very popular. Beveled cover and God's own gold on the trim ... wait, daughter ?"
Mom - "Yeah. Think you may already have met her. Still wanna make that sale ?"
...
Hunter - "Kinda !"
Mom - "That's the spirit. Come on in ! Though please leave the rest of the cart, it'll be fine."
He follows with apprehension, looking back to the cart and the sky ... then in the greet waiting until the cup of water. The sound of a motorcycle arriving, a sip as he watches her walk for the door just before the knock. Switchblade, but as a normal man.
Two smiles and a kiss in the frame.
Man - Looks at the salesman, "Huh. Didn't think your kind still existed." Takes the book from his frozen hands, looks at her. "You're right, she's gonna love it." A sideways smile at the salesman, "How much ?"
Hunter - "Free for some answers. Something very strange just happened to me."
Man - A shared look of concern with the mom, "Yeah ? How bout a bill instead of that."
Hunter - "Fair."
The door opens as the money changes hands ... two smiles trying too hard before the mom walks over with a hug.
Miserella - "You again."
The two men look at each other uncertain which she means, she walks for the stairs.
Hunter - To the Mom, "No I mean there's something really wrong here."
Man - After Miserella, "Look. Honey ... "
Miserella - "Don't call me that."
Mom - "Ohhh ... Les Mis ...
Miserella - "Stop."
And the man begins crumbling in pain, legs rotting from beneath him, arms scattering their flesh as all else returns to that viscous hell, the Hunter banging on the banister becoming a twisted thing, screaming muffled through the fog like water, "Demon from Hell. Demon from Hell ... DEMON From HELL !"
Miserella - Now holding the Bible, "You're right." Looks at the Hunter, "I just fucking love it." Turns back up the stairs.
('The Last Waltz' by Fangbanger)
Miserella's
mom sits in the asylum, staring at the others in their varied madness,
an orderly whispers in her ear, she looks back shocked.
Orderly - "Yes, you'll be under your husband's care."
Mom - "Oh God."
She nervously exits the asylum and sees an old and clean Cadillac waiting, the Hunter leaning on it with a smoke.
Mom - "You ?"
Hunter - "Yeah." A drag before tossing to the dry grass. "There was no other way."
Mom - "Miserella ?"
Hunter - "We'll get her. You're gonna get it all back."
Mom - "I don't want it all. I just want my daughter whole again."
Hunter - "That's the plan. But first. We've got to kill the beast."
Mom - "But he ... "
Hunter - "He's not what he used to be. I'm sorry."
Mom - Looks the car over ... "No. I don't believe that you are." Gets in.
Orderly - "Yes, you'll be under your husband's care."
Mom - "Oh God."
She nervously exits the asylum and sees an old and clean Cadillac waiting, the Hunter leaning on it with a smoke.
Mom - "You ?"
Hunter - "Yeah." A drag before tossing to the dry grass. "There was no other way."
Mom - "Miserella ?"
Hunter - "We'll get her. You're gonna get it all back."
Mom - "I don't want it all. I just want my daughter whole again."
Hunter - "That's the plan. But first. We've got to kill the beast."
Mom - "But he ... "
Hunter - "He's not what he used to be. I'm sorry."
Mom - Looks the car over ... "No. I don't believe that you are." Gets in.
~ Now ~
('I Yam what I Yam' by Robin Williams)
In an abandoned manor room Switchblade watches Popeye sing on his little TV intently with an entertained smile, "Yuh."
~ The Cadillac drives the way to the manor, followed by three SWAT vans, then a limousine flying flags, surrounded by police cars and cycles, then the National Guard and last some curious kids on their bicycles.
He dances with the song, the television in hand as though a partner.
~ The entourage turns for the driveway, the Guard stopping at the gate and warding the kids off before setting up their camp.
A spin, "Ha." He roars with the song, "I YAM WHAT I YAM !"
Miserella pulls out an earbud and looks around to see if she heard something ... then back in and playing on the phone.
________________
Miserella - "I don't know. But I hated him and now he's dead. And that's not even why I want to cry, I don't even know why."
Bets - "I know why."
~ The Cadillac drives the way to the manor, followed by three SWAT vans, then a limousine flying flags, surrounded by police cars and cycles, then the National Guard and last some curious kids on their bicycles.
He dances with the song, the television in hand as though a partner.
~ The entourage turns for the driveway, the Guard stopping at the gate and warding the kids off before setting up their camp.
A spin, "Ha." He roars with the song, "I YAM WHAT I YAM !"
Miserella pulls out an earbud and looks around to see if she heard something ... then back in and playing on the phone.
________________
Back at the cafe ~
Miserella - "I fucking hated my father. And I never even knew why. Like one day I woke up, saw him at the breakfast table and it was like I really saw him for who he was and ... he looked so fucking Weak sitting there. And I just fucking hated him for it. I don't know."
Miserella - "I fucking hated my father. And I never even knew why. Like one day I woke up, saw him at the breakfast table and it was like I really saw him for who he was and ... he looked so fucking Weak sitting there. And I just fucking hated him for it. I don't know."
Sips
... "Then last night it finally hit me. He's dead ! And I cried for
hours so and I hate him for that too. So then I cried some more. Like rage crying"
Bets - "Hence coffee."
Miserella - "Yeah ... coffee ... "
Miserella - " ... I'm just going to say I'm not surprised your mom left."
Miserella - "I'm not surprised what happened just after."
Bets - "Yeah ... "
Miserella - "Yeah ... coffee ... "
Miserella - " ... I'm just going to say I'm not surprised your mom left."
Miserella - "I'm not surprised what happened just after."
Bets - "Yeah ... "
~ sips
Miserella - "I had a dream about him once. It was ... I don't know."
~ her dad at the nightclub - "I don't know."
~ her dad at the nightclub - "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know. But I hated him and now he's dead. And that's not even why I want to cry, I don't even know why."
Bets - "I know why."
Miserella - "Yeah ?"
Bets - "Relief. The inevitable. And now it's done." Sips examining her.
____________
He tears of the already shredded cloak, blades switching out from all over the body, mechanisms spawning and forcing out random objects, stuffed animals, old toys for a girl, yet for everything dropped he seems to grow larger in his march.
~ Outside the Hunter turns his head as though something were detected, he throws down his smoke and starts walking for the manor. Soldiers and police behind him are caught off guard by his lack of care for their presence, they shortly turn to follow, prepping their weapons on the way.
Switchblade builds to a run with a snarled expression.
~ The Hunter does the same while the small army behind sets up their distant front.
Miserella picks up the Bible and opens it. Four leaf cloves collected in Psalms pressed, pictures of her and him with her mom. Her mind puts it together, she turns the other way from the hall.
She hears her own voice, "Can we have a puppy ? Daddy won't let me ... (total manipulation)"
Switchblade's voice - "Of course we can."
The door explodes from the inside as he charges through, the dogs sweeping out fast in all directions. The Hunter continues to charge for him, Switchblade charging still, the backup takes very defensive positions.
They open fire, the dogs are nimble, Switchblade swings but the Hunter isn't there. Switch's flesh then scattered by bullets, he turns to the attackers. He looks to the limo and smiles ...
As he rhymes the bullets all seem to cyclone in time into the swinging of his blades, then directed elsewhere.
"I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I'll give you three or four in just a little time.
Hide and shut the door, ingest a little wine.
Have a little more, in gin it tastes just fine.
! Because !
I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I am the poet who loves the letter X.
That xylophone
Was a pile of old bone
But the dancers loved it's hex.
So why do we condone
All the broken down tones
Of the orange fiddle sex?
With the high low moans,
In erogenous zones
And foreign jest effects ?
! Because !
Everybody loves the orange fiddle rhyme ...
I'll give you four in ... "
! Just a little time !"
Hunter - Standing behind him, "Gotcha."
He slashes a strap holding an appendage on with his razor. As Switchblade turns he's always behind, another strap here and another one there, until he begins to stumble with blades dangling uselessly. He turns for the manor door, the little monster Miserella staring with her giant ice cream stick.
Captain - "! Hold Fire !" ... a look for the strangeness of the outfit.
Appendages are falling off Switchblade's body as he stumbles onto stumps up the manor steps to the door, nearly falling on her as she falls backward while the hunter slashes mad at his back.
Miserella - "I ... I thought I imagined you."
Switchblade - Smiles, "You did."
The Hunter lands slicing on his back, he pulls back his head and slits the throat.
Miserella - Black oil covering her from the wounds, "Then ... the dream. My ... father."
Switchblade - Weakening but unaffected in tone, "I'm so sorry."
The Hunter hacks as a madman ... "Die demon DIE ! Leave this poor girl alone."
Miserella - "No. I want you to live."
Switchblade - Smiles again with love, "As you wish."
She remembers in tears watching movies with him and her mom, "Live."
Hunter - Now himself lost in staring ... "no ... ! NO !" He strains to release himself from the thick field, until he does once again as before.
Switchblade - Swings a punch and reaches with the hand behind him, catching the Hunter by the throat, "You just think you're pretty damn clever, don't you."
He spins the Hunter into nearly as a hug from behind, chin held firm.
Bets - "Relief. The inevitable. And now it's done." Sips examining her.
____________
The neighborhood kids watch the Guard set up from a tree a tree across the street,
in the bathroom mirror Miserella dresses as an ice cream monster for a stand at the kiddie park. She looks at the giant stuffed ice cream bar,
not seeing the Hunter in the mirror, picks it up and heads for the
door.
Switchblade - Stops in the hall in front of her, the many dogs passing in a fury on their way. He smiles as the blades ratchet ... "Wait here, beloved beast, for it's your enemies whose hearts upon, we wish to feast." He continues on with the last of the dogs.
Sounding again like the man he once was, "And so we shall." The Family Bible drops old with a puff of dust from the arm of his cloak with mechanical sounds as though the machine he's become was releasing it. She stares at it frozen as he walks away.
Switchblade - Stops in the hall in front of her, the many dogs passing in a fury on their way. He smiles as the blades ratchet ... "Wait here, beloved beast, for it's your enemies whose hearts upon, we wish to feast." He continues on with the last of the dogs.
Sounding again like the man he once was, "And so we shall." The Family Bible drops old with a puff of dust from the arm of his cloak with mechanical sounds as though the machine he's become was releasing it. She stares at it frozen as he walks away.
('Hallowed be thy Enemy' by Public Enemy + Iron Maiden)
He tears of the already shredded cloak, blades switching out from all over the body, mechanisms spawning and forcing out random objects, stuffed animals, old toys for a girl, yet for everything dropped he seems to grow larger in his march.
~ Outside the Hunter turns his head as though something were detected, he throws down his smoke and starts walking for the manor. Soldiers and police behind him are caught off guard by his lack of care for their presence, they shortly turn to follow, prepping their weapons on the way.
Switchblade builds to a run with a snarled expression.
~ The Hunter does the same while the small army behind sets up their distant front.
Miserella picks up the Bible and opens it. Four leaf cloves collected in Psalms pressed, pictures of her and him with her mom. Her mind puts it together, she turns the other way from the hall.
She hears her own voice, "Can we have a puppy ? Daddy won't let me ... (total manipulation)"
Switchblade's voice - "Of course we can."
The door explodes from the inside as he charges through, the dogs sweeping out fast in all directions. The Hunter continues to charge for him, Switchblade charging still, the backup takes very defensive positions.
They open fire, the dogs are nimble, Switchblade swings but the Hunter isn't there. Switch's flesh then scattered by bullets, he turns to the attackers. He looks to the limo and smiles ...
As he rhymes the bullets all seem to cyclone in time into the swinging of his blades, then directed elsewhere.
"I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I'll give you three or four in just a little time.
Hide and shut the door, ingest a little wine.
Have a little more, in gin it tastes just fine.
! Because !
I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I am the poet who loves the letter X.
That xylophone
Was a pile of old bone
But the dancers loved it's hex.
So why do we condone
All the broken down tones
Of the orange fiddle sex?
With the high low moans,
In erogenous zones
And foreign jest effects ?
! Because !
Everybody loves the orange fiddle rhyme ...
I'll give you four in ... "
! Just a little time !"
Hunter - Standing behind him, "Gotcha."
He slashes a strap holding an appendage on with his razor. As Switchblade turns he's always behind, another strap here and another one there, until he begins to stumble with blades dangling uselessly. He turns for the manor door, the little monster Miserella staring with her giant ice cream stick.
Captain - "! Hold Fire !" ... a look for the strangeness of the outfit.
Appendages are falling off Switchblade's body as he stumbles onto stumps up the manor steps to the door, nearly falling on her as she falls backward while the hunter slashes mad at his back.
Miserella - "I ... I thought I imagined you."
Switchblade - Smiles, "You did."
The Hunter lands slicing on his back, he pulls back his head and slits the throat.
Miserella - Black oil covering her from the wounds, "Then ... the dream. My ... father."
Switchblade - Weakening but unaffected in tone, "I'm so sorry."
The Hunter hacks as a madman ... "Die demon DIE ! Leave this poor girl alone."
Miserella - "No. I want you to live."
Switchblade - Smiles again with love, "As you wish."
She remembers in tears watching movies with him and her mom, "Live."
('Fire and Brimstone' by Death Valley Girls)
He rises in a flex knocking the Hunter off his back, arms and
legs reforming as a man's again, all things around slowing for the Hunter as it was ten years ago.
Flesh grows, wide eyed children watch from the neighboring trees as Switchblade's body turns slowly in the light as his flesh and mind returns ~
Flesh grows, wide eyed children watch from the neighboring trees as Switchblade's body turns slowly in the light as his flesh and mind returns ~
Hunter - Now himself lost in staring ... "no ... ! NO !" He strains to release himself from the thick field, until he does once again as before.
Switchblade - Swings a punch and reaches with the hand behind him, catching the Hunter by the throat, "You just think you're pretty damn clever, don't you."
He spins the Hunter into nearly as a hug from behind, chin held firm.
Looks
at the limo across the field of throat ravaged police, dogs still
chewing. "Almost done." Further to the gate beyond where Miserella's
mother stands. An embittered look and a nod.
He cracks the neck and keeps on pulling until the head's torn off.
He cracks the neck and keeps on pulling until the head's torn off.
Picks
up a blade fallen off and examines it. Inside the limo the last man
harasses the driver to depart faster. A blade through the windshield
cuts the driver in two.
Switchblade - As he walks naked and complete for the car, looking over the screams and carnage in passing, "Ascending never ending ... toil and trouble but that cauldron never bubbled so it's all been leading to you.
"Descending and pretending ... oil and rubble ... your pauldron clever doubled, a ball of sin and now you're pleading anew !
"Changed man ... man with a plan, the internet stans for a clue.
"Arranged and ... fans in the hand, your splinted wet clan in the dew.
"Spending ever bending, ascending and descending how ... low can you go ? How far can you throw ? Your soul, is it so, just pull and let it go, bestow ... you know ... I know ... you know ... "
Metal through the car's window, he pulls the man through and looks him close in the eye smiling. "Where River Styx flows." Miserella's mom walks up behind staring at the man with a winter's cold.
The sound of a blade through flesh, the eyes go wide and he drops.
They look at each other in tears before a long awaited kiss, Miserella running to through the abattoir of a yard still wearing her monster costume. Straight to credits as they join in the field from a helicopter view.
Switchblade - As he walks naked and complete for the car, looking over the screams and carnage in passing, "Ascending never ending ... toil and trouble but that cauldron never bubbled so it's all been leading to you.
"Descending and pretending ... oil and rubble ... your pauldron clever doubled, a ball of sin and now you're pleading anew !
"Changed man ... man with a plan, the internet stans for a clue.
"Arranged and ... fans in the hand, your splinted wet clan in the dew.
"Spending ever bending, ascending and descending how ... low can you go ? How far can you throw ? Your soul, is it so, just pull and let it go, bestow ... you know ... I know ... you know ... "
Metal through the car's window, he pulls the man through and looks him close in the eye smiling. "Where River Styx flows." Miserella's mom walks up behind staring at the man with a winter's cold.
The sound of a blade through flesh, the eyes go wide and he drops.
They look at each other in tears before a long awaited kiss, Miserella running to through the abattoir of a yard still wearing her monster costume. Straight to credits as they join in the field from a helicopter view.
('Who Made Who' by AC-DC)
(credits over their family fucking moment from Hell)
(credits over their family fucking moment from Hell)
Miserella - Sitting in the manor's exploded entryway like a patio, "That's where I got the money. The city got big time duped and wanted to pay out quietly damage and the carnage and what not."
Bets - "Oh ! ... Cool." ... "So ... have you decided what you're gonna study ?"
Bets - "Oh ! ... Cool." ... "So ... have you decided what you're gonna study ?"
Miserella - Looking into her tea, "Education."
A look ...
_____
A bowling ball bag slams on the chief's desk with about fifteen pounds in it.
Chief - "Well it's about goddamn time."
Miserella's mom - Cold as ice, "Yeah. My fee's for a head."
Chief
- Leans back and reaches for the money drawer, "Gladly. One of the
worst we've ever seen." Looks up from the counting, "Oh ! Almost forgot.
Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little fucked up mansion."
_____
Bets - "Party motel."
~ Mom (voiced over) - "Swell."
('Fire' by Attaboy)
(final credits)
~ For K8 Panik and Alex Deville ~
popcorn ~ volume ii
In a dark alley while he pisses ~
Woman (the same actor as Miserella in Switchblade) - "So ! Hear you didn't like the flick-a-doo ... "
Pisser - Zips fast, "Oh my God, it's ... you."
Woman - "No it's not. But you called me some very bad things. Do you know what I'm going to do to you ?"
Pisser - " ... "
Woman - "That wasn't rhetorical. Do, you know what I'm going to do to you, right now ?"
Pisser - " ... No."
Woman - "Huh. Guess you don't know so much after all."
Screams from the alleyway behind the theater as the people pass with the traffic noise, the marquis ~
(''Gett Off' by Prince)
~ Nerdbag Little Bitches ~
all in a row
(credits while she does all that with a bread knife)
In the rain after the credits to the crappy motel, Eddie from 'Why I hate the Fabulous Five' coming down the stairs, her going up.
"Eddie."
"Charlotte."
Up into her room, she drops the coat and tosses the knife into the sink with the dirty dishes. Looks in the mirror.
Charlotte - "Oh my God. It's me." ... Bursts out laughing. "Bitch-ass fucking nerdbag."
_____
A tuber rages about the movie (this one), screaming how it's a personal attack on all tubers and that Charlotte's just a mean spirited cow. She clicks the pause. Lights a cigarette.
Smokes ...
Charlotte - "You're a mean spirited cow." Looks out the window, it rains. Smokes. "Now I wanna hamburger. Fuck this guy."
Closes the computer. Looks away ... then back to it, opens it and then a series of command prompts into a network now running signals ... she smiles ...
Down the stairs where the press now waits ...
Newshuman - "They say ... "
Charlotte - "Lick a clit skeaze, I'm on a mission."
Pushes through the snapping shots. An airplane flies overhead, she's smoking on other streets, notably bright as the motel neighborhood always seems darker. Clutching a rolled up newspaper like she's about to swat something, she pulls out a picture of the tuber.
Charlotte - "Ham ... bur ... gerrrr ... " Shoves it in her pocket and pulls out another cigarette, forgetting there's one already in her mouth. Looks up at the comic-con ahead ... a sigh ... "Beef."
Pauses and laughs a bit and laughs before running head down in with her hands in her coat pockets, the paper sticking out.
The tubers are gathered around the target''s booth, they all stop and stare as she approaches. A glare to the side at the Mary Sue Vector booth ... Marie Sue (same actor as Bets) glares back ... then back to laughing with her admirers.
The tuber (Jean Luc Pa-Damn) - Surrounded by the rest frozen in a stare, "Oh my God. It's ... you."
Charlotte - "No it's not. But I do look a lot like her and do you know what that's like ? With you shitbags always on about what a wreck she is ? How fucked her career is, because of fuck-faced little maggots like you ? Mary Sue's an absolute whore and even She doesn't give you the time of day. Do you have Any Idea what It's LIKE !?"
...
Pa-Damn - "Are you sure it isn't you ?"
Charlotte - "I am absolutely certain that I am not me." Slams the rolled over and crinkled paper on the table, news of the murder."
They stare ...
Rando - "Oh my God. It's him."
...
Charlotte - "What is Wrong with you people." To Pa-Damn, "So guess what shit bag. You're next. I'm gonna grind you up and I'm gonna eat you. Like a cow. Call the police and see what they've got to say about it. None of your phones recorded. They're hacked. I own you. And I just farmed All of your everything Into to fucking Bitcoin."
They all look at their phones ... "Fuck ... " they look up and she's gone.
Cop on the phone - Laughing ... he can't stop laughing, while Charlotte laughs maniacally in her motel room, until a pounding on the wall.
Eddie - Through the wall, "Jesus Christ we're All maniacal here, we Get it."
Charlotte - Looks at the mirror, to herself. "Yeah. We're all maniacal here." Shouts, "Sorry !"
('Can You Get to That' by Funkadelic)
Her monitors runs the sub-windows hacking street-cams as some of them walk, traffic cams checking plates, minimizes them and hears a knock on the door.
Eddie - At the door. "Coffee.."
Charlotte - Suspicious, then "Coffee good." Heads for the kitchen.
Eddie - Entering, "Whatcha workin' on."
Charlotte - "Murdering hate-tubers. You ?"
Eddie - "Eh. There's like this bible salesman in Hell ... it's ... convoluted. I'd stay out of it. I didn't want to make the portal at home. How ya gonna do 'em ?"
Charlotte - "Well the next one I want to eat like a cow."
Eddie - "Careful of the brain or anything coming off the cord, kuru gonna get-cha."
Charlotte - "Yeah. I know."
...
Grinds.
Eddie - Leaning into the monitor, "Yeah ... I've seen this one ... "
Charlotte - Comes out to see. "Yeah. That's the one. I took all their money so they can't hire security, they're liquidating the last on some lawyers. But they got no case 'til it happens and when it does it'll be too late."
Eddie - "I haven't seen anything hard on the last guy, said it was a mugging."
Charlotte - "It was. Three hundred dollars. Guess what I bought." Hands him his cup.
Eddie - Smiles, "Coffee."
Charlotte - "Coffee good. So ya this next one though ... I mean I told him that's what I was gonna do so now I feel obligated and That's Really complicated actually. I mean do I beat him with the antique grinder in the alley !? Do I break into the butcher's and use theirs !? Do I ... do I ... "
Eddie - "Hey ... hey. Don't worry about it. Just cut off his arm !"
Charlotte - "O my god I think I'm hyperventilating."
________
Tubers - "What are we going to do man ? I mean ... she's taken it all ! I had to sell my Pokemon collection.
A collective - "Oooo ... "
____
Charlotte - "So what happened to Crisis Existential ?"
Eddie - "Once it was all pieced together, our friend from 'Interpol' swept her away. Then her husband went on a rampage after and ... that was it."
Charlotte - "Yeah. That was it. So you're going to Hell ?"
Eddie - "Yeah. I think maybe this crazy guy can help."
Charlotte - "The bible salesman."
Eddie - "Yeah."
They laugh.
Eddie - He drinks the last and hands her the cup. "And off I go."
Charlotte - As he leaves, "Good luck !"
Eddie - Stops before the door. ... "You know. One day I hope you get what you want."
Charlotte - A slow smile, "Me too. Tell the devil Charlotte says hello."
He smiles and leaves.
____
Pa-Damn - "She's gonna fucking eat me."
Another - "That would take a really long time."
Yet another - "Complicated. Lots of evidence."
Another still - "Which could be good for the rest of us."
Another - "Mm-hm. It'll establish the pattern and then maybe the cops will believe us."
Pa-Damn - "Seriously. Fuck you guys."
Yet another - "We honor your sacrifice."
All others - "K-Plah !"
Eddie - At the door. "Coffee.."
Charlotte - Suspicious, then "Coffee good." Heads for the kitchen.
Eddie - Entering, "Whatcha workin' on."
Charlotte - "Murdering hate-tubers. You ?"
Eddie - "Eh. There's like this bible salesman in Hell ... it's ... convoluted. I'd stay out of it. I didn't want to make the portal at home. How ya gonna do 'em ?"
Charlotte - "Well the next one I want to eat like a cow."
Eddie - "Careful of the brain or anything coming off the cord, kuru gonna get-cha."
Charlotte - "Yeah. I know."
...
Grinds.
Eddie - Leaning into the monitor, "Yeah ... I've seen this one ... "
Charlotte - Comes out to see. "Yeah. That's the one. I took all their money so they can't hire security, they're liquidating the last on some lawyers. But they got no case 'til it happens and when it does it'll be too late."
Eddie - "I haven't seen anything hard on the last guy, said it was a mugging."
Charlotte - "It was. Three hundred dollars. Guess what I bought." Hands him his cup.
Eddie - Smiles, "Coffee."
Charlotte - "Coffee good. So ya this next one though ... I mean I told him that's what I was gonna do so now I feel obligated and That's Really complicated actually. I mean do I beat him with the antique grinder in the alley !? Do I break into the butcher's and use theirs !? Do I ... do I ... "
Eddie - "Hey ... hey. Don't worry about it. Just cut off his arm !"
Charlotte - "O my god I think I'm hyperventilating."
________
Tubers - "What are we going to do man ? I mean ... she's taken it all ! I had to sell my Pokemon collection.
A collective - "Oooo ... "
____
Charlotte - "So what happened to Crisis Existential ?"
Eddie - "Once it was all pieced together, our friend from 'Interpol' swept her away. Then her husband went on a rampage after and ... that was it."
Charlotte - "Yeah. That was it. So you're going to Hell ?"
Eddie - "Yeah. I think maybe this crazy guy can help."
Charlotte - "The bible salesman."
Eddie - "Yeah."
They laugh.
Eddie - He drinks the last and hands her the cup. "And off I go."
Charlotte - As he leaves, "Good luck !"
Eddie - Stops before the door. ... "You know. One day I hope you get what you want."
Charlotte - A slow smile, "Me too. Tell the devil Charlotte says hello."
He smiles and leaves.
____
Pa-Damn - "She's gonna fucking eat me."
Another - "That would take a really long time."
Yet another - "Complicated. Lots of evidence."
Another still - "Which could be good for the rest of us."
Another - "Mm-hm. It'll establish the pattern and then maybe the cops will believe us."
Pa-Damn - "Seriously. Fuck you guys."
Yet another - "We honor your sacrifice."
All others - "K-Plah !"
~ two
('I Wanna Know if it's Good to You' by Funkadelic)
As she stalks Pa-Damn ...
She watches him exit the theater and into a cab. Exit the cab left waiting and into the store, back to the cab and out into the apartment rushed and looking around. She opens her travel laptop (tiny) and waits ...
On the screen she waits ... and there he is onscreen for a live stream with the rest. Runs a ffew command prompt windows on the side ... closes the lid with a smile.
Charlotte - To herself, "Gonna pay ya Tuesday ... " Looks at her watch, "Fuck." Looks up the building, then at the doorman. Opens her bag, "Grappling hook ... hacksaw ... and ... " Pulls out the heavy hand crank meat grinder, "And ... you. God I love you." Turns the crank ... "Hm !" A smile, she shoves it back into the bag.
Heads for the alley, tosses up the grappling hook to pull the fire escape down with the rope.
____
Pa-Damn - "I don't know guys ... I'm pretty freaked. I mean ... how long will it take her to know about this place ?"
Another - Looking into the screen, "Livin' on the run ... " Sees her stomp up behind Pa-Damn with the meat grinder raised over her head. "Oh my God it's h ... "
Crack ! in the head. The four window vid-chat stare ... she walks to the camera squinting like she's trying to see them ...
Charlotte - As if trying to comprehend, "You're so ... tiny ... " The feed goes out.
...
Another - "We're not live."
Another still - Typing mad, "Nope ! No backup. Fuck !"
Yet another - "He was a good man."
Another - "Not really."
Another still - "Yeah couldn't stand him really."
Yet another - "Kinda went to his head. But you know. I kinda feel like we should say good things."
Another - "Oh yeah. Good man. I think he was a Christian."
Yet another - "Yeah he definitely talked about God once."
Another still - "I think he's like a saint now then ?"
Another - "The patron saint of all tubers ... "
____
She flips the burger in the motel kitchenette ... looks at the hamburger bun ... then the bread knife ...
Charlotte - A laugh, "Hey !"
____
The pope - "I'm afraid three miracles must be performed in his name for him to be beautified. But there are three of you so ... dope it out. It'll be a miracle if you to survive the week."
The tubers stare ... "Fuck !"
Pope - "Not helping. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a real matter in Hell I must attend to." Slams his staff to the ground, "! Dominus NOCTIS !" A portal tears through space and time, taking him away with a gust of wind and gone.
...
"Fuck !"
____
Cop at the Station - "I am so very glad you're here." Hands them a page with a shit eating grin.
Another - Reading ... "She ... filed a restraining order. Against us."
Cop - "Yeah apparently you've gone on the internet and accused her of being a serial killer. And ... "Hands another page, "There's this !"
Another still - "A cease and desist ! From her fucking lawyer !?"
Cop - "No ... the would be from the studio's lawyer."
Yet another - "She is killing us."
Cop - "Sure she is. Famous actor. Got beef." Finger shoots one after the next. "Because you shitbags talked the mad shit on the internet, thinking that shit would never come back to you but here we are. You know what I think ?"
Another still - "I think this is some bullshit."
Cop - "That's what you think. What I think is you all got so up on your hate-spread and fear mongering that now you feel bad. Deep inside. So now you got the noids. Now you're thinking all the people you fucked over, are coming back for revenge."
Another still - "No ! Just. Her."
Cop - "You sure about that ?" Puts the newspaper on the desk.
Yet another - "But that's ... "
Cop - "Yeah. That guy always on about Xenofix."
Another still - "Xenofix sucked ass."
Yet another - "Yeah it did."
Another - "Except the porno part."
Another still - "Hell yeah." High five.
Cop - Stares ... "Yeah so he's dead. He one of yours ?"
Another - "Um. No ?"
Cop - Nods ... "So these are your competitors."
Another - "What ? No ! Well yes but No ! We didn't ... "
Cop - Staring ... "Yeah. So you leave that girl alone, and don't leave town."
Yet another - "But she'll ... she's gonna know exactly where we are !"
Cop - "She'll know exactly where you are, and so will we. Welcome to your first good news of the day. We've got men posted outside each of your locations so if your insane theory is right, we will find out. Second piece, she's got police protection, against you."
They look shocked before a smile ...
Cop - Leans back in the chair ... "Yep ! New York's finest. So here's the thing. I been doin' this a while. I know you're not lying to me. You truly believe this bullshit you're telling me so here's what I think. It's not her. May look like her, may even think she's her but she's not.
"And if I'm wrong ... she's under watch, you're under watch, everybody's under watch. We get to it. Now get the fuck out of here, I've got whores to interrogate." Turns his chair to the window.
Another - "That's ... really fucked up."
Cop - Pulls out his phone. "Cancel watch on Shitbag 3000"
Another still - "You're totally gonna die tonight."
Yet another - "We will honor your sacrifice."
_________
They scream on the conference stream watching her pull out shitbag's intestines, smiling and nodding to his camera as he pulls out more and more ... the sound of a knock on the door.
In her motel room, she answers the door, Eddie smoking, and literally smoking.
Charlotte - "Back from Hell then."
Eddie - "Coffee."
Charlotte - "Hungry ?"
Eddie - "Famished." ... "What's your name again ?"
Charlotte - Looks at him ... "I'm Charlotte."
Eddie - "Eddie. I was in hell for five fucking years. Time dilation. Lots of names. So many names and they all had a story, and it was always bullshit."
Charlotte - "Find your Bible salesman ?"
Eddie - "Who ?"
Charlotte - "Your quarry."
Eddie - "Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to torture him."
Charlotte - "Wasn't he just in Hell ?"
...
Eddie - "Coffee."
Charlotte - "I also just made nerd sausage."
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