~ Pasta Sauce ~
the intermission
(extended cut of 'Dining Room or There is Nothing')
The Mad Buttons ...
"What is Taken from the library will never Leave the library, and neither will the Thief."
~ All written works contained herein or by link are the property of Gerald Edwin Chule ~ circusanarquista@gmail.com (for business or pleasure) ~
popcorn ~ volume i
Child talking in the still black screen ~
Gura - "So here's the thing about popcorn. We all love the popcorn. It's part of the whole movie going experience."
Sibelle - "I like popcorn."
Gura - "Yah. Everyone likes popcorn."
Goya - "I don't like popcorn. It gets stuck in my teeth."
Sibelle - "That's pretty weird."
Goya - "You're pretty weird."
Sibelle - "I accept one of those two descriptives. Continue."
Gura - "Thank you. So the thing about popcorn is, what if they banned it ?"
Sibelle - "Whoa."
Goya - "They would never ... "
Sibelle - "They never would."
Gura - "Unless they wanted to destroy the movie going experience."
Goya - "But ... that's Evil."
Gura - "It is. Also probably good for old people's cholesterol."
Sibelle - "Old people who watch a lot of movies."
Gura - "Correct. But say you wanted to destroy movie theaters ... "
Sibelle - "I would never ... "
Gura - "No I mean like evil you."
Sibelle - "MUAHAHAHAHA ... got it."
Gura - "If you wanted to destroy theaters, just take away the popcorn."
Goya - "It could be the best movie in the world ... "
Sibelle - "And No one would go see it. They'd be too busy being outraged ... muahaaa ... I like evil me. That's a really good plan."
Gura - "No it's not. It's a commentary."
Goya - "On what ?"
Gura - "Literally. Everything."
The
camera comes on to two girls and a boy walking down streets filled with
faux outrage, Gura floating cross legged and pulled on a string by the
Sibelle, the boy (Goya) kicking rocks. People protesting this movie in
front of the theater they enter.
Goya - "I like Dots."
~ popcorn ~
Starring
(: ! Humans ! :)
(i swear we totally are)
The theater is frantically deconstructed around them by Sanctuary witches (A Book of Names until laid bare while the city all around them is taken down in high speed.
Directed by
That one guy !
(actually probably is)
That one guy !
(actually probably is)
Then constructing Midwich in its place, ending with the theater. As
they hand the new moon by a string ... it falls destroying the
downtown. They swarm the crash to lift it back up, this ti me double
knotting the string like a shoe lace.
They hurriedly re-stack the crushed building parts, brad swaths off duct tape where required. They drop the employees into their places behind the bar, then the ticket takers as the camera turns back to audience view.
The ceiling above, the screen is stretched to the wall with tacks.
They hurriedly re-stack the crushed building parts, brad swaths off duct tape where required. They drop the employees into their places behind the bar, then the ticket takers as the camera turns back to audience view.
The ceiling above, the screen is stretched to the wall with tacks.
Written by
Alan Smithee ... ?
Alan Smithee ... ?
(uncertain)
The
view goes out the back door and into the alley behind at night, moon
still swinging on its string as the witches scatter away ~
A Big Chicken Production
fuck 'em
A deep voice in the dark to a child ~ "What did they do ?" The hooded figure leans back into the child's whisper,
"These 'humans' ... and then tell me who." The sound of ratcheting steel, metal grinding on concrete, nearby traffic outside the alley shows around the 2010's.
The
child's whisper into his ear ... eyes begin to glow a rage in flesh
stripped sockets, rusted bone worn through at the cheeks.
The man - "ooh ... and then noo ... " A last rattle of iron closure as the child watches him rise ...
('Fire and Brimstone' by Death Valley Girls)
~ Switchblade ~
(total horror show)
~ A cargo ship plows for the harbor, knocking the fishing boats and tugs aside.
Voice on the telephone ~ Nervously voiced over the scene, "You don't understand, nobody can know where I'm going."
Woman on the other end ~ "I'm sorry, but we have to register your papers though the consulate."
~ The ship ignores all calls to stop as it approaches the docks at speed.
Voice ~ "No you don't."
Voice on the telephone ~ Nervously voiced over the scene, "You don't understand, nobody can know where I'm going."
Woman on the other end ~ "I'm sorry, but we have to register your papers though the consulate."
~ The ship ignores all calls to stop as it approaches the docks at speed.
Voice ~ "No you don't."
~ The sirens sound ...
Other ~ A sigh ... "It will cost."
Voice ~ "I wouldn't trust it any other way."
~ It crashes the docks.
Other ~ A sigh ... "It will cost."
Voice ~ "I wouldn't trust it any other way."
~ It crashes the docks.
('Antagonist' by Nova Twins)
Guy with that voice on the phone and some local friends curious in the nightclub ~
Dead man drinking - "I don't know. I don't know" Drinks then waves for another. "Goddamn it what is that Noise !?"
The cloaked man walks through the nightclub, security and police swarming too halt, any gunfire not deflected by his heavy bladed arms seems pointless anyway as his progress is continuous and in a very straight line, death meeting any who seek to damage him, the rest tossed aside.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected I mean ... " The drink comes, "Thank you now fuck off." Slams it and calls after "Hey ! Get me another one and hold fucking the spit."
The man tears the head from an attacker and beats down the next with it until both are crushed.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected ... do you hear that fucking Sound !?"
The crowd parts while those without notice he walks through, the sweep of a heavy metal arm tosses a crowd inoffensively.
He's shot in the back by a security man covered in blood ~
Switchblade - Turns showing his flesh stretched over a rusted out skull, "Oh no oh no ... you've shot me full of holes." The blades ratchet out from his arms as he turns, "But I've got no blood left to give so get ye no bowls." Leaps forth.
~ Man at the table ~
DMD - "All they know is they were all by a ... rusty machete. ... maybe an axe. Where's that fucking bitch with my drink !?"
Switchblade - Looming over the dead man drinking, "None left to give, but choke on your own, you will, for as long as you live."
The sound of rusted blade scraping rusted metal to black, music out. The promised gurgling sound, then screams and more gun shots.
Dead man drinking - "I don't know. I don't know" Drinks then waves for another. "Goddamn it what is that Noise !?"
The cloaked man walks through the nightclub, security and police swarming too halt, any gunfire not deflected by his heavy bladed arms seems pointless anyway as his progress is continuous and in a very straight line, death meeting any who seek to damage him, the rest tossed aside.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected I mean ... " The drink comes, "Thank you now fuck off." Slams it and calls after "Hey ! Get me another one and hold fucking the spit."
The man tears the head from an attacker and beats down the next with it until both are crushed.
DMD - "I don't know if they're connected ... do you hear that fucking Sound !?"
The crowd parts while those without notice he walks through, the sweep of a heavy metal arm tosses a crowd inoffensively.
He's shot in the back by a security man covered in blood ~
Switchblade - Turns showing his flesh stretched over a rusted out skull, "Oh no oh no ... you've shot me full of holes." The blades ratchet out from his arms as he turns, "But I've got no blood left to give so get ye no bowls." Leaps forth.
~ Man at the table ~
DMD - "All they know is they were all by a ... rusty machete. ... maybe an axe. Where's that fucking bitch with my drink !?"
Switchblade - Looming over the dead man drinking, "None left to give, but choke on your own, you will, for as long as you live."
The sound of rusted blade scraping rusted metal to black, music out. The promised gurgling sound, then screams and more gun shots.
________________
Politico - In a local government office, surrounded by others with their papers and rando ass kissery when the well tailored lawyer arrives, "Alright everybody fuck off out of here, I need to talk to the bastard."
Lawyer - Grins wicked, "So declared."
Politico - In a local government office, surrounded by others with their papers and rando ass kissery when the well tailored lawyer arrives, "Alright everybody fuck off out of here, I need to talk to the bastard."
Lawyer - Grins wicked, "So declared."
~ At the cafe, talking over the loud music, Gabrielle waiting tables in the background,
Raphael working in the kitchen behind the order up slot in the wall.
Miserella
(because that's literally the first name I could think of that isn't of
someone I know) - "Yah nobody knows where he went. He just started
acting weird and then he was gone. Cleaned out all the accounts and
just ... gone."
Bets (short for Betsy ... ? Because people used to actually name their poor children things like that) - "So I guess there goes tuition ... "
Miserella - "Yeah. All gone. I can't even pay property taxes, that place is huge."
Bets (short for Betsy ... ? Because people used to actually name their poor children things like that) - "So I guess there goes tuition ... "
Miserella - "Yeah. All gone. I can't even pay property taxes, that place is huge."
Bets
- "Can you at least sell the art collection ?"
Miserella - "I've got some leech coming to look at it ... I don't know."
~ From the scene with her dad in the club, "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know."
Bets - "So what like ... a Job !?"
Miserella looks at her like she may kill.
~ The nightclub waitress spits in the drink, eyes go wide at the scene, drops it and screams.
Miserella's water is filled by Gabrielle (their diner waitress).
____________
Miserella - "I've got some leech coming to look at it ... I don't know."
~ From the scene with her dad in the club, "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know."
Bets - "So what like ... a Job !?"
Miserella looks at her like she may kill.
~ The nightclub waitress spits in the drink, eyes go wide at the scene, drops it and screams.
Miserella's water is filled by Gabrielle (their diner waitress).
____________
Some
hipster looking motherfucker in shades and a cheap suit walking down
the street on his cellphone over the chaos and screams of the horror
streets. - "We have a what ?"
~ In the chief's office.
Chief - "We have a monster ... " Leans back in his chair grinning ... a glance to the drawer ...
~ In the chief's office.
Chief - "We have a monster ... " Leans back in his chair grinning ... a glance to the drawer ...
Hunter - A sigh with a patient smile, "Please do."
Motions his silence as he gets up to close the office door. All eyes
look with concern as the window slats close to block their view. He
turns back to see the chief already chugging the bottle straight.
Caps it and chucks it back to the drawer.
Hunter - ... "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "I do. A monster." The ratcheting sound. "And it won't fucking die."
Hunter - Sloughs back to the chair ... "So why me ?"
Chief - "Because you've got the same issue."
~ The bullets fly as he nearly appears to walk between them shooting back, one shot and a forehead each. Pockets the pistol and lights a smoke as another bullet tears the sleeve of his very nice jacket. He looks angrily to the source still pointing scared, his pistol clicks a misfire.
~ The oncoming fist.
Hunter - "Yeah I may have that issue too."
Chief - "And why is that ? Do you think."
Hunter - Suddenly serious in the eyes, "Because fate is a merciless whore." A flash of a grin and a drink from the bottle before passing it back.
Chief - "With a heart as cruel as the sea ... "
~ Miserella - Wearing a hotdog on a stick uniform at the mall with a big dumb hat demonstrating the name, "Fuck this."
Chief - Bottle toast, "Amen to that." Drinks, caps and drops into the drawer.
Hunter - Pulling his pack of smokes, "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "Disgusting habit." Slams the drawer (the doubling's intentional).
Miserella - "And fine I'm Selling the art the creepy guy's coming tomorrow. You know the art world is strangely underground it was like a drug deal I had to meet him in some warehouse in the middle of the night with a Picasso wrapped in brown paper."
Bets - "And he was legit ?"
Caps it and chucks it back to the drawer.
Hunter - ... "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "I do. A monster." The ratcheting sound. "And it won't fucking die."
Hunter - Sloughs back to the chair ... "So why me ?"
Chief - "Because you've got the same issue."
~ The bullets fly as he nearly appears to walk between them shooting back, one shot and a forehead each. Pockets the pistol and lights a smoke as another bullet tears the sleeve of his very nice jacket. He looks angrily to the source still pointing scared, his pistol clicks a misfire.
~ The oncoming fist.
Hunter - "Yeah I may have that issue too."
Chief - "And why is that ? Do you think."
Hunter - Suddenly serious in the eyes, "Because fate is a merciless whore." A flash of a grin and a drink from the bottle before passing it back.
Chief - "With a heart as cruel as the sea ... "
~ Miserella - Wearing a hotdog on a stick uniform at the mall with a big dumb hat demonstrating the name, "Fuck this."
Chief - Bottle toast, "Amen to that." Drinks, caps and drops into the drawer.
Hunter - Pulling his pack of smokes, "Do you mind ?"
Chief - "Disgusting habit." Slams the drawer (the doubling's intentional).
('Cecilia' by Simon and Garfunkel)
Two
black dogs run barking to the shredded outer fence of a property
expanse, inside a frightened man packs quickly, stuffing cash to a bag
and turning for the door. Outside the security team closes in after the
dogs.
~ While Miserella roller-skates around her massive empty
house in her drive in theater uniform (movie screen on her head showing
security footage of the scene).
The hounds stop barking at the
cloaked man as his his legs split on two as now a tall beast looking
down at these two. He leaps over and bounds on the mechanical stretched with blades ratcheting out,
naked beneath the cloak but for the many straps required to hold
together his appendages over flesh which seem there only to hold
together what's rusted bone and blade.
~ then out the backdoor and into the pool.
He charges the attackers with a swipe to the bullets as though annoyances, side to side leaps now harder to track, and then into the fray.
Switchblade
- "Overrated to be sated when the flesh is liberated to be dated and be
freighted like you're supermarket baited now you're crated consecrated
to be funeral fated there'll be flowers there'll be powers there'll be lots of fallen towers as I scour and devour every hour after hour
..."
To the last dropping his gun, hands up in terror before falling to his
knees.
Switchblade - "So now you cower."
He smiles as the dogs run up, tearing
the security man apart. Looks to the sound of the starting engine then
leaps away while the dogs take their screaming meal, the sound of
crunching metal in the distance.
('Down by the Water' by PJ Harvey)
Miserella
watches the huge fight breaking out directly in front of her Shake
Shack counter annoyed, an equally stupid uniform with a hat like a shake
with a straw sticking out of what would be her brain ...
While in an unknown motel the Hunter watches a woman ride.
~ Switchblade jacks his arm, dropping a cable, He pulls an old school portable television from his cloak, extra wiring hanging from. He sets it on a stone.
It's actually a pretty good fight.
In the motel ...
~ He scurries up the telephone pole.
She laughs sipping before the owner points to the stupid shack door to leave.
~ Jacks it in and drops down near, as the screen statics on to the next scene.
____
Security footage ~
Switchblade - Pulling his blades from the broken hood of the broken car, "Evil dragon, you conceal my prey, but have him still, I will, for you are not my first slay. Inside your glass eyes, I see the man you venerate, and so your foul scales ... I must penetrate."
While in an unknown motel the Hunter watches a woman ride.
~ Switchblade jacks his arm, dropping a cable, He pulls an old school portable television from his cloak, extra wiring hanging from. He sets it on a stone.
It's actually a pretty good fight.
In the motel ...
~ He scurries up the telephone pole.
She laughs sipping before the owner points to the stupid shack door to leave.
~ Jacks it in and drops down near, as the screen statics on to the next scene.
____
Security footage ~
Switchblade - Pulling his blades from the broken hood of the broken car, "Evil dragon, you conceal my prey, but have him still, I will, for you are not my first slay. Inside your glass eyes, I see the man you venerate, and so your foul scales ... I must penetrate."
Tears
the door off, then two fast stabs before walking away. The two dogs
are briefly seen as they circle at the bottom corner of the screen to
follow dopishly.
____
Hunter - "And my fee ?"
Chief - "You're a 'Headhunter'. Your fee's for a head. So you bring me a fucking head ... and I'll pay your fucking fee ! Now get the fuck out of here and start earning it."
________________
Hunter - "And my fee ?"
Chief - "You're a 'Headhunter'. Your fee's for a head. So you bring me a fucking head ... and I'll pay your fucking fee ! Now get the fuck out of here and start earning it."
________________
Miserella
- Flipping burgers on the barbecue while wearing a Red Rocket (see GI
Joe) on her head, "What I already paid the year's property taxes so all I
need is food."
Bets - "Um."
Bets - "Um."
Miserella - "What !? I Got this."
Bets - "Fine. But you only eat hamburgers now."
Miserella - "And sausages ! Because do You know where the kitchen is in this place !? I skated all the fuck around it I have no fucking clue."
Bets - "I see."
Bets - "Fine. But you only eat hamburgers now."
Miserella - "And sausages ! Because do You know where the kitchen is in this place !? I skated all the fuck around it I have no fucking clue."
Bets - "I see."
...
Miserella - "I sleep in the living room now. I set up little kitchen in the closet."
Miserella - "I sleep in the living room now. I set up little kitchen in the closet."
...
Miserella - "And fine I'm Selling the art the creepy guy's coming tomorrow. You know the art world is strangely underground it was like a drug deal I had to meet him in some warehouse in the middle of the night with a Picasso wrapped in brown paper."
Bets - "And he was legit ?"
Miserella - "He was cash. But he had it ! So ... " Pulls out a calculator (?), "If I eat $3000 dollars a month ... that's ... huh."
Bets - "What about fuck around funds."
Miserella - "I have no idea how to unload doubloons."
________
Chief - As the hunter heads for the door, mind now deep in thoughts and plans, "Oh hey. I almost forgot. Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little apartment."
Hunter - Stops dead and looks up. "Fuck me."
Chief - "I'd rather fuck a lawnmower."
________
Meanwhile at his shitty little apartment three men wait ...
Obvious lead - Reaching into his pocket, "This guy ... I need a cup of coffee." The two men smash the door open, he looks up from his lock-pick set ... "Jesus Christ. You. Make the fucking coffee."
First - "I'm sorry." Sulks into the apartment.
Lead - "And you go wait outside, you get no fucking coffee at all."
Second - "aw." Sulks away.
________
Bets - "What about fuck around funds."
Miserella - "I have no idea how to unload doubloons."
________
Chief - As the hunter heads for the door, mind now deep in thoughts and plans, "Oh hey. I almost forgot. Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little apartment."
Hunter - Stops dead and looks up. "Fuck me."
Chief - "I'd rather fuck a lawnmower."
________
Meanwhile at his shitty little apartment three men wait ...
Obvious lead - Reaching into his pocket, "This guy ... I need a cup of coffee." The two men smash the door open, he looks up from his lock-pick set ... "Jesus Christ. You. Make the fucking coffee."
First - "I'm sorry." Sulks into the apartment.
Lead - "And you go wait outside, you get no fucking coffee at all."
Second - "aw." Sulks away.
________
Bets - "Why not just get a smaller house !?"
Miserella - "Because I want to be able to start a school for gifted youngsters."
...
Bets - "Is that a joke ?"
Miserella - "Yeah but the thing is I know if I sell the house I probably won't be able to again."
Miserella - "Yeah but the thing is I know if I sell the house I probably won't be able to again."
...
Miserella - "You know. Just in case."
...
Miserella - "You know. Just in case."
...
Bets - "I see ... well what about turning it into like a party motel ?"
Miserella - "That's actually a way better idea."
Miserella - "That's actually a way better idea."
~ two
~ In the morning ...
The Hunter walks through the smashed door. "Jesus Christ." To the lead on the couch, "You know I'd have expected you guys to use a lock-pick.
Lead - Puts down the coffee (the Hunter eyes the stupid mug), "Local hires."
Hunter - "Why would Interpol need local door crashers ?"
Lead - "Because, like the video you saw with your chief, the entire story, it's all a fake."
The Hunter walks through the smashed door. "Jesus Christ." To the lead on the couch, "You know I'd have expected you guys to use a lock-pick.
Lead - Puts down the coffee (the Hunter eyes the stupid mug), "Local hires."
Hunter - "Why would Interpol need local door crashers ?"
Lead - "Because, like the video you saw with your chief, the entire story, it's all a fake."
Hunter - "No it's not."
____
Art Dealer - "Yesss My dear Miserella, yes it is." Sets the painting down and moves on to the next.
____
Hunter - "No. It's not."
____
Bets - Leans into Miserella's ear and whispers, "He'll try to buy it later for way cheaper, saying it's still a high quality reproduction."
Miserella (wearing a 20 foot gown) - "I knew I hated this guy." Walks to the painting and puts her foot through it, looks to the dealer's stunned eyes, "Next time you want to talk that shit to me we all watch another masterpiece die, I've got plenty to spare. Next one."
Dealer - "Needs restoration."
Miserella - Examines it closer, "How much ?" Pulls a switchblade and flips it.
Bets - "Where the fuck did you even get that."
Lawyer - Clears his throat, "One hundred thousand."
Miserella - "On ?"
Lawyer - "One million plus at auction. I get twenty percent."
Miserella - "Sold !"
________________
The rear cargo door kicks open, the compartment flooding with dogs, the cloaked man extending bladed arms and cutting away. Gunfire flashing through the windows as seen from outside the plane at night from the responding security as he works his way, dogs leaping for throats amid the decompression paperwork. A head flies by the ports, followed by a dog trying to catch it.
Makes the cockpit, the terrified pilot and co with the attendants alone remaining.
Switchblade - To the nearest attendant, "Descend we do leave your corpses to fate, if you've got left a reason to slate then fate will create for you, a way to see this through, if only that evil you lack."
Looks out the cockpit glass as the ground approaches.
He stabs the controls through with one arm after the other into the pilot's and co's stations.
The eyes go wide as they all turn to for the back, tripping over dogs and body pieces, a stewardess is overcome by the moment and carnage, falls apart and just screams ...
~ Engines burst to flames.
Air crews in the padded steel crates, the lids slam shut. The rescue trucks depart their garages, ground crews to station.
~ Wings crumple, now just a complete fireball.
(2:30) It scrapes ground with no gear down, skidding with a bounce and a spin, wreckage in the air as a sealed cargo container filled with screaming attendants flies spinning by the camera's view.
____
Miserella - "There goes the Renoir ... "
Bets - Watches with concern as a couple of rottweilers run by ... "A Renoir would feed this many dogs for like a month."
Miserella - "Fuck !"
____________
Hunter - Straightening his tie in the shitty motel mirror, "Now do you believe in monsters ?"
Woman (from before) - Walks up behind and fixing his collar, she whispers in his ear with the voice on the phone from the beginning. "I don't believe in shit."
And suddenly he's behind her, she looks back.
Woman - "Neither God nor the devil." He puts the flip razor to her throat, a tear from her eye. "But yes I do believe in monsters."
Hunter - Whispers in her ear with a hand sliding around her throat, "One more call."
Woman - Terrified, "And then we're done ?"
Hunter - Cuts a strap from her slip and smiles, "And then we're done."
~ Miserella washes examines her face in the bathroom mirror at the coffee shop, looks down to wash her hands and looks up as the Hunter slashes her throat from behind. Then gone with no wound left but a definitive red stripe set into flesh.
The Hunter walks new streets smoking, watches an airplane descend for landing overhead ...
Smoking in the crowd, past homeless camps and burning protests, police beatings and murder, sunglasses on. A police shootout at the bank as the Hunter walks between the bullets, passing just before the panic explosion.
____
Art Dealer - "Yesss My dear Miserella, yes it is." Sets the painting down and moves on to the next.
____
Hunter - "No. It's not."
____
Bets - Leans into Miserella's ear and whispers, "He'll try to buy it later for way cheaper, saying it's still a high quality reproduction."
Miserella (wearing a 20 foot gown) - "I knew I hated this guy." Walks to the painting and puts her foot through it, looks to the dealer's stunned eyes, "Next time you want to talk that shit to me we all watch another masterpiece die, I've got plenty to spare. Next one."
Dealer - "Needs restoration."
Miserella - Examines it closer, "How much ?" Pulls a switchblade and flips it.
Bets - "Where the fuck did you even get that."
Lawyer - Clears his throat, "One hundred thousand."
Miserella - "On ?"
Lawyer - "One million plus at auction. I get twenty percent."
Miserella - "Sold !"
________________
Hunter - "He's a man. Disfigured. Lost. And probably in a lot of pain but still, just a man."
Lead - A laugh to himself leaning back, he takes the cup and drinks, Hunter eying the cup. "Sure. Two outta three, but he's not lost. There is a pattern. These men do have commonality."
Hunter - "Then why haven't you intercepted him ?"
Lead - "Because it's a very common, commonality. They're perverts. Pedophiles. Rapists of children. But unfortunately we only know about it looking postmortem. When it all come out. Now. What we've seen is, that the victims knew he was coming for the
Lead - A laugh to himself leaning back, he takes the cup and drinks, Hunter eying the cup. "Sure. Two outta three, but he's not lost. There is a pattern. These men do have commonality."
Hunter - "Then why haven't you intercepted him ?"
Lead - "Because it's a very common, commonality. They're perverts. Pedophiles. Rapists of children. But unfortunately we only know about it looking postmortem. When it all come out. Now. What we've seen is, that the victims knew he was coming for the
m, so they know that commonality. One event."
Hunter - "Like one particular girl ? Girl ?"
Lead - "Yes, it seems most likely to have been a female child."
Hunter - "Have been ? Was there a body ?"
Lead - "No. Or maybe. Frankly there's been a lot of bodies, it's hard to say. But these murders started ten years ago, she'd probably be an adult by now. She may not even have a clue."
____
Miserella - "I don't even know where all these dogs fucking came from."
____
The woman's voice on the phone - "Of course. But it will cost."
Desperate sounding man - "Of course it will cost. About as much as you do. Arrange it."
Pilot comm chatter as a large private plane descends for landing ~
Hunter - "Like one particular girl ? Girl ?"
Lead - "Yes, it seems most likely to have been a female child."
Hunter - "Have been ? Was there a body ?"
Lead - "No. Or maybe. Frankly there's been a lot of bodies, it's hard to say. But these murders started ten years ago, she'd probably be an adult by now. She may not even have a clue."
____
Miserella - "I don't even know where all these dogs fucking came from."
____
The woman's voice on the phone - "Of course. But it will cost."
Desperate sounding man - "Of course it will cost. About as much as you do. Arrange it."
Pilot comm chatter as a large private plane descends for landing ~
('God's Gonna Cut You Down' by Johnny Cash)
The rear cargo door kicks open, the compartment flooding with dogs, the cloaked man extending bladed arms and cutting away. Gunfire flashing through the windows as seen from outside the plane at night from the responding security as he works his way, dogs leaping for throats amid the decompression paperwork. A head flies by the ports, followed by a dog trying to catch it.
Makes the cockpit, the terrified pilot and co with the attendants alone remaining.
Switchblade - To the nearest attendant, "Descend we do leave your corpses to fate, if you've got left a reason to slate then fate will create for you, a way to see this through, if only that evil you lack."
Looks out the cockpit glass as the ground approaches.
...
Switchblade - "Or you might try the crates we hid in, in the back." Smiles as the runway lights approach.
('Lost at Birth' by Public Enemy)
He stabs the controls through with one arm after the other into the pilot's and co's stations.
The eyes go wide as they all turn to for the back, tripping over dogs and body pieces, a stewardess is overcome by the moment and carnage, falls apart and just screams ...
Air crews in the padded steel crates, the lids slam shut. The rescue trucks depart their garages, ground crews to station.
~ Wings crumple, now just a complete fireball.
(2:30) It scrapes ground with no gear down, skidding with a bounce and a spin, wreckage in the air as a sealed cargo container filled with screaming attendants flies spinning by the camera's view.
____
Miserella - "There goes the Renoir ... "
Bets - Watches with concern as a couple of rottweilers run by ... "A Renoir would feed this many dogs for like a month."
Miserella - "Fuck !"
____________
Hunter - Straightening his tie in the shitty motel mirror, "Now do you believe in monsters ?"
Woman (from before) - Walks up behind and fixing his collar, she whispers in his ear with the voice on the phone from the beginning. "I don't believe in shit."
And suddenly he's behind her, she looks back.
Woman - "Neither God nor the devil." He puts the flip razor to her throat, a tear from her eye. "But yes I do believe in monsters."
Hunter - Whispers in her ear with a hand sliding around her throat, "One more call."
Woman - Terrified, "And then we're done ?"
Hunter - Cuts a strap from her slip and smiles, "And then we're done."
~ Miserella washes examines her face in the bathroom mirror at the coffee shop, looks down to wash her hands and looks up as the Hunter slashes her throat from behind. Then gone with no wound left but a definitive red stripe set into flesh.
('The Wind' by PJ Harvey)
The Hunter walks new streets smoking, watches an airplane descend for landing overhead ...
Smoking in the crowd, past homeless camps and burning protests, police beatings and murder, sunglasses on. A police shootout at the bank as the Hunter walks between the bullets, passing just before the panic explosion.
Hunter - "God I love this town." Looks at his watch. "Like a drill-bit through the skull."
~ He screams with the Midwich asylum's dated drill's motor, trying to break the gurney straps as it enters through just behind the ear, eyes straining to see.
Looks at his watch again, a smile as his phone rings ...
Chief - On the cell, "We've got a talker."
Hunter - Looking around with a smile, "Already there."
~ He screams with the Midwich asylum's dated drill's motor, trying to break the gurney straps as it enters through just behind the ear, eyes straining to see.
Looks at his watch again, a smile as his phone rings ...
Chief - On the cell, "We've got a talker."
Hunter - Looking around with a smile, "Already there."
~ three
~ Ten Years Ago ~
The Hunter, though clearly not yet walks to house pulling a cart filled with Bibles ~
Hunter - Looking up at the minor manor with a smile ... "A Bible in every bedroom ... " He looks at a folk art metal duck with frozen wind spinning wings. A curious smile before giving them a spin, then turns fast to the gate, realizing he was watched.
Young Miserella on a bicycle watches him from the gate with a smile ~
Hunter - Showing the source of that salesman smile ... "Well hello there ! Do you live here ?"
Miserella - Still smiling back, "Sometimes !" Gets off her bicycle and leans it on the fence before walking directly through him, leaving him stuck in a thick viscous effigy of time, struggling to move in its jelly.
All slows down in
Hunter - Looking up at the minor manor with a smile ... "A Bible in every bedroom ... " He looks at a folk art metal duck with frozen wind spinning wings. A curious smile before giving them a spin, then turns fast to the gate, realizing he was watched.
Young Miserella on a bicycle watches him from the gate with a smile ~
Hunter - Showing the source of that salesman smile ... "Well hello there ! Do you live here ?"
Miserella - Still smiling back, "Sometimes !" Gets off her bicycle and leans it on the fence before walking directly through him, leaving him stuck in a thick viscous effigy of time, struggling to move in its jelly.
All slows down in
his motion while time moves into a blur, until the lady of the house arrives and he's pulled back to our world.
Mom (prior 'the prostitute) - Smiles startled, "Oh ! Hello ... um. Bible salesman. ... Really ?" Heads for the door, unlocking it.
Hunter - "I've ... been stuck here. For a year. There was a girl ... she ... "
Mom - Suddenly serious, "Yeah. Look. I've got a guest coming ... you should go."
Hunter - Analyzing ... "Hey can I have a glass of water ?"
...
Mom - "Sure. But I'm not lying. Pull anything and he will kill you." Looks at the top of the Bible pile ... "Though That one ... you know my daughter might actually like that big one on top."
Hunter - "Ah. Yes ... 'The New Family Bible' ... very popular. Beveled cover and God's own gold on the trim ... wait, daughter ?"
Mom - "Yeah. Think you may already have met her. Still wanna make that sale ?"
...
Hunter - "Kinda !"
Mom - "That's the spirit. Come on in ! Though please leave the rest of the cart, it'll be fine."
He follows with apprehension, looking back to the cart and the sky ... then in the greet waiting until the cup of water. The sound of a motorcycle arriving, a sip as he watches her walk for the door just before the knock. Switchblade, but as a normal man.
Two smiles and a kiss in the frame.
Man - Looks at the salesman, "Huh. Didn't think your kind still existed." Takes the book from his frozen hands, looks at her. "You're right, she's gonna love it." A sideways smile at the salesman, "How much ?"
Hunter - "Free for some answers. Something very strange just happened to me."
Man - A shared look of concern with the mom, "Yeah ? How bout a bill instead of that."
Hunter - "Fair."
The door opens as the money changes hands ... two smiles trying too hard before the mom walks over with a hug.
Miserella - "You again."
The two men look at each other uncertain which she means, she walks for the stairs.
Hunter - To the Mom, "No I mean there's something really wrong here."
Man - After Miserella, "Look. Honey ... "
Miserella - "Don't call me that."
Mom - "Ohhh ... Les Mis ...
Miserella - "Stop."
And the man begins crumbling in pain, legs rotting from beneath him, arms scattering their flesh as all else returns to that viscous hell, the Hunter banging on the banister becoming a twisted thing, screaming muffled through the fog like water, "Demon from Hell. Demon from Hell ... DEMON From HELL !"
Miserella - Now holding the Bible, "You're right." Looks at the Hunter, "I just fucking love it." Turns back up the stairs.
Mom (prior 'the prostitute) - Smiles startled, "Oh ! Hello ... um. Bible salesman. ... Really ?" Heads for the door, unlocking it.
Hunter - "I've ... been stuck here. For a year. There was a girl ... she ... "
Mom - Suddenly serious, "Yeah. Look. I've got a guest coming ... you should go."
Hunter - Analyzing ... "Hey can I have a glass of water ?"
...
Mom - "Sure. But I'm not lying. Pull anything and he will kill you." Looks at the top of the Bible pile ... "Though That one ... you know my daughter might actually like that big one on top."
Hunter - "Ah. Yes ... 'The New Family Bible' ... very popular. Beveled cover and God's own gold on the trim ... wait, daughter ?"
Mom - "Yeah. Think you may already have met her. Still wanna make that sale ?"
...
Hunter - "Kinda !"
Mom - "That's the spirit. Come on in ! Though please leave the rest of the cart, it'll be fine."
He follows with apprehension, looking back to the cart and the sky ... then in the greet waiting until the cup of water. The sound of a motorcycle arriving, a sip as he watches her walk for the door just before the knock. Switchblade, but as a normal man.
Two smiles and a kiss in the frame.
Man - Looks at the salesman, "Huh. Didn't think your kind still existed." Takes the book from his frozen hands, looks at her. "You're right, she's gonna love it." A sideways smile at the salesman, "How much ?"
Hunter - "Free for some answers. Something very strange just happened to me."
Man - A shared look of concern with the mom, "Yeah ? How bout a bill instead of that."
Hunter - "Fair."
The door opens as the money changes hands ... two smiles trying too hard before the mom walks over with a hug.
Miserella - "You again."
The two men look at each other uncertain which she means, she walks for the stairs.
Hunter - To the Mom, "No I mean there's something really wrong here."
Man - After Miserella, "Look. Honey ... "
Miserella - "Don't call me that."
Mom - "Ohhh ... Les Mis ...
Miserella - "Stop."
And the man begins crumbling in pain, legs rotting from beneath him, arms scattering their flesh as all else returns to that viscous hell, the Hunter banging on the banister becoming a twisted thing, screaming muffled through the fog like water, "Demon from Hell. Demon from Hell ... DEMON From HELL !"
Miserella - Now holding the Bible, "You're right." Looks at the Hunter, "I just fucking love it." Turns back up the stairs.
('The Last Waltz' by Fangbanger)
Miserella's
mom sits in the asylum, staring at the others in their varied madness,
an orderly whispers in her ear, she looks back shocked.
Orderly - "Yes, you'll be under your husband's care."
Mom - "Oh God."
She nervously exits the asylum and sees an old and clean Cadillac waiting, the Hunter leaning on it with a smoke.
Mom - "You ?"
Hunter - "Yeah." A drag before tossing to the dry grass. "There was no other way."
Mom - "Miserella ?"
Hunter - "We'll get her. You're gonna get it all back."
Mom - "I don't want it all. I just want my daughter whole again."
Hunter - "That's the plan. But first. We've got to kill the beast."
Mom - "But he ... "
Hunter - "He's not what he used to be. I'm sorry."
Mom - Looks the car over ... "No. I don't believe that you are." Gets in.
Orderly - "Yes, you'll be under your husband's care."
Mom - "Oh God."
She nervously exits the asylum and sees an old and clean Cadillac waiting, the Hunter leaning on it with a smoke.
Mom - "You ?"
Hunter - "Yeah." A drag before tossing to the dry grass. "There was no other way."
Mom - "Miserella ?"
Hunter - "We'll get her. You're gonna get it all back."
Mom - "I don't want it all. I just want my daughter whole again."
Hunter - "That's the plan. But first. We've got to kill the beast."
Mom - "But he ... "
Hunter - "He's not what he used to be. I'm sorry."
Mom - Looks the car over ... "No. I don't believe that you are." Gets in.
~ Now ~
('I Yam what I Yam' by Robin Williams)
In an abandoned manor room Switchblade watches Popeye sing on his little TV intently with an entertained smile, "Yuh."
~ The Cadillac drives the way to the manor, followed by three SWAT vans, then a limousine flying flags, surrounded by police cars and cycles, then the National Guard and last some curious kids on their bicycles.
He dances with the song, the television in hand as though a partner.
~ The entourage turns for the driveway, the Guard stopping at the gate and warding the kids off before setting up their camp.
A spin, "Ha." He roars with the song, "I YAM WHAT I YAM !"
Miserella pulls out an earbud and looks around to see if she heard something ... then back in and playing on the phone.
________________
Miserella - "I don't know. But I hated him and now he's dead. And that's not even why I want to cry, I don't even know why."
Bets - "I know why."
~ The Cadillac drives the way to the manor, followed by three SWAT vans, then a limousine flying flags, surrounded by police cars and cycles, then the National Guard and last some curious kids on their bicycles.
He dances with the song, the television in hand as though a partner.
~ The entourage turns for the driveway, the Guard stopping at the gate and warding the kids off before setting up their camp.
A spin, "Ha." He roars with the song, "I YAM WHAT I YAM !"
Miserella pulls out an earbud and looks around to see if she heard something ... then back in and playing on the phone.
________________
Back at the cafe ~
Miserella - "I fucking hated my father. And I never even knew why. Like one day I woke up, saw him at the breakfast table and it was like I really saw him for who he was and ... he looked so fucking Weak sitting there. And I just fucking hated him for it. I don't know."
Miserella - "I fucking hated my father. And I never even knew why. Like one day I woke up, saw him at the breakfast table and it was like I really saw him for who he was and ... he looked so fucking Weak sitting there. And I just fucking hated him for it. I don't know."
Sips
... "Then last night it finally hit me. He's dead ! And I cried for
hours so and I hate him for that too. So then I cried some more. Like rage crying"
Bets - "Hence coffee."
Miserella - "Yeah ... coffee ... "
Miserella - " ... I'm just going to say I'm not surprised your mom left."
Miserella - "I'm not surprised what happened just after."
Bets - "Yeah ... "
Miserella - "Yeah ... coffee ... "
Miserella - " ... I'm just going to say I'm not surprised your mom left."
Miserella - "I'm not surprised what happened just after."
Bets - "Yeah ... "
~ sips
Miserella - "I had a dream about him once. It was ... I don't know."
~ her dad at the nightclub - "I don't know."
~ her dad at the nightclub - "I don't know."
Miserella - "I don't know. But I hated him and now he's dead. And that's not even why I want to cry, I don't even know why."
Bets - "I know why."
Miserella - "Yeah ?"
Bets - "Relief. The inevitable. And now it's done." Sips examining her.
____________
He tears of the already shredded cloak, blades switching out from all over the body, mechanisms spawning and forcing out random objects, stuffed animals, old toys for a girl, yet for everything dropped he seems to grow larger in his march.
~ Outside the Hunter turns his head as though something were detected, he throws down his smoke and starts walking for the manor. Soldiers and police behind him are caught off guard by his lack of care for their presence, they shortly turn to follow, prepping their weapons on the way.
Switchblade builds to a run with a snarled expression.
~ The Hunter does the same while the small army behind sets up their distant front.
Miserella picks up the Bible and opens it. Four leaf cloves collected in Psalms pressed, pictures of her and him with her mom. Her mind puts it together, she turns the other way from the hall.
She hears her own voice, "Can we have a puppy ? Daddy won't let me ... (total manipulation)"
Switchblade's voice - "Of course we can."
The door explodes from the inside as he charges through, the dogs sweeping out fast in all directions. The Hunter continues to charge for him, Switchblade charging still, the backup takes very defensive positions.
They open fire, the dogs are nimble, Switchblade swings but the Hunter isn't there. Switch's flesh then scattered by bullets, he turns to the attackers. He looks to the limo and smiles ...
As he rhymes the bullets all seem to cyclone in time into the swinging of his blades, then directed elsewhere.
"I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I'll give you three or four in just a little time.
Hide and shut the door, ingest a little wine.
Have a little more, in gin it tastes just fine.
! Because !
I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I am the poet who loves the letter X.
That xylophone
Was a pile of old bone
But the dancers loved it's hex.
So why do we condone
All the broken down tones
Of the orange fiddle sex?
With the high low moans,
In erogenous zones
And foreign jest effects ?
! Because !
Everybody loves the orange fiddle rhyme ...
I'll give you four in ... "
! Just a little time !"
Hunter - Standing behind him, "Gotcha."
He slashes a strap holding an appendage on with his razor. As Switchblade turns he's always behind, another strap here and another one there, until he begins to stumble with blades dangling uselessly. He turns for the manor door, the little monster Miserella staring with her giant ice cream stick.
Captain - "! Hold Fire !" ... a look for the strangeness of the outfit.
Appendages are falling off Switchblade's body as he stumbles onto stumps up the manor steps to the door, nearly falling on her as she falls backward while the hunter slashes mad at his back.
Miserella - "I ... I thought I imagined you."
Switchblade - Smiles, "You did."
The Hunter lands slicing on his back, he pulls back his head and slits the throat.
Miserella - Black oil covering her from the wounds, "Then ... the dream. My ... father."
Switchblade - Weakening but unaffected in tone, "I'm so sorry."
The Hunter hacks as a madman ... "Die demon DIE ! Leave this poor girl alone."
Miserella - "No. I want you to live."
Switchblade - Smiles again with love, "As you wish."
She remembers in tears watching movies with him and her mom, "Live."
Hunter - Now himself lost in staring ... "no ... ! NO !" He strains to release himself from the thick field, until he does once again as before.
Switchblade - Swings a punch and reaches with the hand behind him, catching the Hunter by the throat, "You just think you're pretty damn clever, don't you."
He spins the Hunter into nearly as a hug from behind, chin held firm.
Bets - "Relief. The inevitable. And now it's done." Sips examining her.
____________
The neighborhood kids watch the Guard set up from a tree a tree across the street,
in the bathroom mirror Miserella dresses as an ice cream monster for a stand at the kiddie park. She looks at the giant stuffed ice cream bar,
not seeing the Hunter in the mirror, picks it up and heads for the
door.
Switchblade - Stops in the hall in front of her, the many dogs passing in a fury on their way. He smiles as the blades ratchet ... "Wait here, beloved beast, for it's your enemies whose hearts upon, we wish to feast." He continues on with the last of the dogs.
Sounding again like the man he once was, "And so we shall." The Family Bible drops old with a puff of dust from the arm of his cloak with mechanical sounds as though the machine he's become was releasing it. She stares at it frozen as he walks away.
Switchblade - Stops in the hall in front of her, the many dogs passing in a fury on their way. He smiles as the blades ratchet ... "Wait here, beloved beast, for it's your enemies whose hearts upon, we wish to feast." He continues on with the last of the dogs.
Sounding again like the man he once was, "And so we shall." The Family Bible drops old with a puff of dust from the arm of his cloak with mechanical sounds as though the machine he's become was releasing it. She stares at it frozen as he walks away.
('Hallowed be thy Enemy' by Public Enemy + Iron Maiden)
He tears of the already shredded cloak, blades switching out from all over the body, mechanisms spawning and forcing out random objects, stuffed animals, old toys for a girl, yet for everything dropped he seems to grow larger in his march.
~ Outside the Hunter turns his head as though something were detected, he throws down his smoke and starts walking for the manor. Soldiers and police behind him are caught off guard by his lack of care for their presence, they shortly turn to follow, prepping their weapons on the way.
Switchblade builds to a run with a snarled expression.
~ The Hunter does the same while the small army behind sets up their distant front.
Miserella picks up the Bible and opens it. Four leaf cloves collected in Psalms pressed, pictures of her and him with her mom. Her mind puts it together, she turns the other way from the hall.
She hears her own voice, "Can we have a puppy ? Daddy won't let me ... (total manipulation)"
Switchblade's voice - "Of course we can."
The door explodes from the inside as he charges through, the dogs sweeping out fast in all directions. The Hunter continues to charge for him, Switchblade charging still, the backup takes very defensive positions.
They open fire, the dogs are nimble, Switchblade swings but the Hunter isn't there. Switch's flesh then scattered by bullets, he turns to the attackers. He looks to the limo and smiles ...
As he rhymes the bullets all seem to cyclone in time into the swinging of his blades, then directed elsewhere.
"I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I'll give you three or four in just a little time.
Hide and shut the door, ingest a little wine.
Have a little more, in gin it tastes just fine.
! Because !
I'm not afraid of the orange fiddle rhyme.
I am the poet who loves the letter X.
That xylophone
Was a pile of old bone
But the dancers loved it's hex.
So why do we condone
All the broken down tones
Of the orange fiddle sex?
With the high low moans,
In erogenous zones
And foreign jest effects ?
! Because !
Everybody loves the orange fiddle rhyme ...
I'll give you four in ... "
! Just a little time !"
Hunter - Standing behind him, "Gotcha."
He slashes a strap holding an appendage on with his razor. As Switchblade turns he's always behind, another strap here and another one there, until he begins to stumble with blades dangling uselessly. He turns for the manor door, the little monster Miserella staring with her giant ice cream stick.
Captain - "! Hold Fire !" ... a look for the strangeness of the outfit.
Appendages are falling off Switchblade's body as he stumbles onto stumps up the manor steps to the door, nearly falling on her as she falls backward while the hunter slashes mad at his back.
Miserella - "I ... I thought I imagined you."
Switchblade - Smiles, "You did."
The Hunter lands slicing on his back, he pulls back his head and slits the throat.
Miserella - Black oil covering her from the wounds, "Then ... the dream. My ... father."
Switchblade - Weakening but unaffected in tone, "I'm so sorry."
The Hunter hacks as a madman ... "Die demon DIE ! Leave this poor girl alone."
Miserella - "No. I want you to live."
Switchblade - Smiles again with love, "As you wish."
She remembers in tears watching movies with him and her mom, "Live."
('Fire and Brimstone' by Death Valley Girls)
He rises in a flex knocking the Hunter off his back, arms and
legs reforming as a man's again, all things around slowing for the Hunter as it was ten years ago.
Flesh grows, wide eyed children watch from the neighboring trees as Switchblade's body turns slowly in the light as his flesh and mind returns ~
Flesh grows, wide eyed children watch from the neighboring trees as Switchblade's body turns slowly in the light as his flesh and mind returns ~
Hunter - Now himself lost in staring ... "no ... ! NO !" He strains to release himself from the thick field, until he does once again as before.
Switchblade - Swings a punch and reaches with the hand behind him, catching the Hunter by the throat, "You just think you're pretty damn clever, don't you."
He spins the Hunter into nearly as a hug from behind, chin held firm.
Looks
at the limo across the field of throat ravaged police, dogs still
chewing. "Almost done." Further to the gate beyond where Miserella's
mother stands. An embittered look and a nod.
He cracks the neck and keeps on pulling until the head's torn off.
He cracks the neck and keeps on pulling until the head's torn off.
Picks
up a blade fallen off and examines it. Inside the limo the last man
harasses the driver to depart faster. A blade through the windshield
cuts the driver in two.
Switchblade - As he walks naked and complete for the car, looking over the screams and carnage in passing, "Ascending never ending ... toil and trouble but that cauldron never bubbled so it's all been leading to you.
"Descending and pretending ... oil and rubble ... your pauldron clever doubled, a ball of sin and now you're pleading anew !
"Changed man ... man with a plan, the internet stans for a clue.
"Arranged and ... fans in the hand, your splinted wet clan in the dew.
"Spending ever bending, ascending and descending how ... low can you go ? How far can you throw ? Your soul, is it so, just pull and let it go, bestow ... you know ... I know ... you know ... "
Metal through the car's window, he pulls the man through and looks him close in the eye smiling. "Where River Styx flows." Miserella's mom walks up behind staring at the man with a winter's cold.
The sound of a blade through flesh, the eyes go wide and he drops.
They look at each other in tears before a long awaited kiss, Miserella running to through the abattoir of a yard still wearing her monster costume. Straight to credits as they join in the field from a helicopter view.
Switchblade - As he walks naked and complete for the car, looking over the screams and carnage in passing, "Ascending never ending ... toil and trouble but that cauldron never bubbled so it's all been leading to you.
"Descending and pretending ... oil and rubble ... your pauldron clever doubled, a ball of sin and now you're pleading anew !
"Changed man ... man with a plan, the internet stans for a clue.
"Arranged and ... fans in the hand, your splinted wet clan in the dew.
"Spending ever bending, ascending and descending how ... low can you go ? How far can you throw ? Your soul, is it so, just pull and let it go, bestow ... you know ... I know ... you know ... "
Metal through the car's window, he pulls the man through and looks him close in the eye smiling. "Where River Styx flows." Miserella's mom walks up behind staring at the man with a winter's cold.
The sound of a blade through flesh, the eyes go wide and he drops.
They look at each other in tears before a long awaited kiss, Miserella running to through the abattoir of a yard still wearing her monster costume. Straight to credits as they join in the field from a helicopter view.
('Who Made Who' by AC-DC)
(credits over their family fucking moment from Hell)
(credits over their family fucking moment from Hell)
Miserella - Sitting in the manor's exploded entryway like a patio, "That's where I got the money. The city got big time duped and wanted to pay out quietly damage and the carnage and what not."
Bets - "Oh ! ... Cool." ... "So ... have you decided what you're gonna study ?"
Bets - "Oh ! ... Cool." ... "So ... have you decided what you're gonna study ?"
Miserella - Looking into her tea, "Education."
A look ...
_____
A bowling ball bag slams on the chief's desk with about fifteen pounds in it.
Chief - "Well it's about goddamn time."
Miserella's mom - Cold as ice, "Yeah. My fee's for a head."
Chief
- Leans back and reaches for the money drawer, "Gladly. One of the
worst we've ever seen." Looks up from the counting, "Oh ! Almost forgot.
Interpol's waiting for you at your shitty little fucked up mansion."
_____
Bets - "Party motel."
~ Mom (voiced over) - "Swell."
('Fire' by Attaboy)
(final credits)
~ For K8 Panik and Alex Deville ~
popcorn ~ volume i
Eddie
Schlock - (Same actor as the Bible Salesman) Watching the Fabulous Five
laugh heartily with their foot on a wiggling out Doctor Deuce. Voiced
over, "Just look at
these fucks ... " He snaps a pic. "Just
look at them." Another pic. "I mean ... they took out Doctor Deuce,
finally, and I guess that's a good thing but Jesus."
No-bone Mcdoy (their leader) - "Aw ... didn't the good doctor know ? A full house always beats a deuce."
Eddie snaps a picture of the wrecked skyline. "And the city's going to thank them
for this mess. Another goddamn award ceremony. I already know the
boss'll send me. They never send the dumb kid, no ... they always send
Eddie Schlock.
"Dear God they're bantering."
... a sigh ... he takes the shot.
Maria Shivers (Bets) - Trailed by the camera man, "Hey Eddie ... looks like you get front page again.
I get the five o'clock." Looks around at the trashed city, "Only the brave ... see you at seven."
She stops and stares at the Fabulous Five.
Maria - "My God just look at these fucks."
Eddie - "We need a better grade of hero."
Maria
- "What is it they say ? Never the one you need but only the one you deserve ... " Straightening her suit and preparing her news face,
stretches her
jaw, then side to side. A breath of strength, "I'm going in."
Eddie - Smiles, "Careful. They're bantering."
Maria - "Jesus fuck."
('Land of Sunshine' by Faith No More)
~ Why I Hate the Fabulous Five ~
the debatable date movie supreme
The
giant Galaga stomps through the city and opening credits, Fab Five in
their dumbass flying car flying to (mixed with Galaga game vids, in time
the pixelated enemies fall from the sky behind Galaga as he destroys
the city).
Fab Five still flying their car, laughing about some
crap and making smoothies (smoothie machine in the glove box). They
high five and leap from the car at the massive giant.
________________
Dinner at seven ~
Eddie - "Remember when the aliens arrived ?"
Maria - "We were yet to be born."
Eddie
- "Yeah but I remember reading about it. Three days after we tested
our first nuke, ... there they were ... snooping around ... it's just like
these fucking clowns. Now it's supervillains everywhere."
A bank explodes outside the restaurant window, supervillain laughing away with bags of money, completely ignored by all.
Maria - "You know I did an alien interview once. Kind of strange how they end their sentences with 'muahaha'."
~ Alien on camera, "Oh noooo ... nooo ... we came in peace ! ... muahaha."
Eddie - "Your trust issues are legendary."
Maria - "Do you trust them ?"
Eddie - "Hell no. They're too much like us."
Maria - "Muahaha."
Eddie - "Why Miss Shivers, do you have ulterior motives ?"
She
slams them against her apartment wall and kneels while the Air Force
tangles with UFOs outside the window. She looks to the side ... "Do we
care ?"
Eddie - Glances, "Third page."
Maria - "Nine o'clock at best." Continues.
He hits his head back on the wall and lights a smoke.
_________________
He exhales walking down the street into a supervillain's face.
Eddie - "Fine. 'Please don't kill me'. I'll take down your demands."
Number Nine (villain tights) - "I have demands."
________
In the diner ~
Eddie - "Alright. The manifesto ... "
Number Nine - "The what !? No. I have demands."
Eddie - "Shoot."
Number Nine - "First, the end of All social media."
Eddie - "Preach."
Number Nine - "Second, the end of all cellphones."
Eddie - "Choir."
Number Nine - "And third ... II want to be a villainaire."
Eddie - "Did you just say ... "
Number Nine - "I did."
...
Number Nine - "It means infinite money."
Eddie - "Ah."
~ Maria - At the dinner, "That did not happen."
~ Eddie - "I swear to God."
Number Nine - As if said to him, "What."
Eddie - "Yeah ... what are your superpowers exactly ?"
Number Nine - "Love."
...
Eddie - "Love."
Number Nine - "Love. The most dangerous power of all."
Eddie - Glances
down in the motel, voiced over in his mind, "He wasn't lying." He
takes another drag, "It's why I keep him locked in a warehouse."
('Revolution 9' by some weird British band from the 60's)
In the basement ~
Eddie - "So there you have it."
Number Nine - In a large cage, generally well kept and fed but costume aging, drinking good tea. "There I have what ?"
Eddie - "The two big problems. Number one, I really hate the Fabulous Five. I think I may have to destroy them."
Number Nine - "Agreed. And number two ?" Sips.
Eddie - "The real problem. I think I love her."
Number
Nine - "And you have no idea if you're truly loved inn return. Or
deeper still, are you in love with her ? Or just the feeling of, 'being
loved' ?" An inward laugh. Sips. "Ever the dilemma."
Eddie - "You know shit like this is why I keep you locked in a warehouse."
Number
Nine - "But the problem here, your real problem, is that these needs are counter to each other.
The simplest way I could help you infiltrate the Five would be for me to
make the Divisible Girl fall in love with you. And if you truly love
your lady, this will repulse you."
Eddie - "I would call it a
fucking bachelor party if I could get in. Being in their presence
which would turn me off quick. Fuck that."
Number Nine - "She's
fine as hell and you know it and it would have to be on the side
anyway. No family dinner for you little love birds, even now you make
these excuses. You love her. Your true lady, regardless of how she may
or may not have felt about you without my intervention. So how
am I to help you, destroy our shared mortal enemies, who I have tried to
kill Many times, and failed ?"
Sips observing ... "Oh I'm sorry, what were your superpowers again ?"
Eddie - "Hang on. If you tried to destroy them with those crap powers ... then ... "
Number
Nine - "All of them. They all keep the secret. Impeccably. It's
almost like they all know about the other in general so they're
comfortable knowing nothing specific."
Eddie - "Drama."
Number Nine - "Yes. And potentially loud drama. If they ever knew who."
Eddie - "Huh. That's ... "
Number
Nine - "Drama. It'll get us nowhere and even if they were exposed as
the absolute whores that they are, they would be even more annoying as
vigilantes. We need, to kill them."
...
Eddie - "My God. Even Galaga couldn't do it. I hate you for being right."
Number
Nine - "But you love me for this. People have fought them. Aliens.
Monsters. Zombies. Dinosaurs. Everyone, has tried to kill them. So
believe me, yes I will help you kill my most absolute nemeses, but how
are we to do this ?"
...
Eddie - "You know. Everyone's tried to fight them. Commit some crime to draw them out."
Number Nine - "To test themselves."
Eddie - "Exactly. We need to assassinate them."
Number
Nine - "Hm. Can't help you there ... but I see that differing point of
view. They're challenged when ready but never when not, and your love
?"
Eddie - "You really can't just 'remove the spell' ?"
Number Nine - "I swear to you I cannot. I fear you never will know if the woman you fell for would ever have fallen for you. But the fact is, that's the woman you wanted to fuck. This is the one who holds your heart."
...
Eddie - Smokes ... "Know where to get a good sniper rifle ?"
Number Nine - "I can get anything, but everything's been tried."
Eddie - "Poisons ?"
Number Nine - "None natural, some unnatural could be procured, but you'd have to know which ones."
Eddie - "Know anyone with any good guesses ?"
...
Number
Nine - Leans back smiling ... "You really do mean it. You are one
hundred percent serious, about this job, and this woman."
Eddie - "I am."
Number Nine - Smiles examining, "Well yes. I know many people." A smile ...
Eddie - "Well maybe you're a shit shot but you still can get us to a lot of rooftops."
Number
Nine - "Do you hate them more than you love her ? Tell me."
Eddie
- "I'd give it up entirely for her. But I don't
consider that requisite. You fuck and I'll use the back doors while they're distracted."
Number Nine - "Freedom."
Eddie - "Freedom."
Number Nine - "How do you know I won't just run."
Eddie
- "Because you hate them as much as I do, and I think you see the
possibilities." Tosses a phone through the bars. "Call your friends.
Call them all."
Number Nine - "Eddie."
Eddie - "Nine ?"
Number Nine - "Are you are certain ?"
Eddie - "About which insane part ?"
Number Nine - "That you do not wish ... to fuck ... the Divisible Woman ?"
Eddie - "Yeah what's that like ?"
Number Nine - "The same way she fights. She becomes many."
Eddie - "You're an asshole."
Number Nine - "Oh so many."
________________
In the church confessional ~
Eddie - "Father forgive for I am about to sin."
Priest (Switchblade) - "Tell me my son."
Eddie - "I have so much hate in my heart, I fear I mean to kill them all."
Priest - "Who my son ?"
Eddie - Grins ... "The Fabulous Five."
Priest - A grinning jaw seen through the screen, "I'm in."
The small sliding door over the screen slams shut.
~ two
Outside
as the villains unload from their signature cars in costume one by one,
all likely insane and one bby one heading into the warehouse.
____
Now crowded inside, sign by the door says 'No Banter'. ~
Eddie
- "Wait. All of you. And None of you could kill them ? Have you
never like ... tried ? You know, like 'teamed up' before ?"
Number Nine - "Every combination and configuration but we never did try just doing simple hits off guard, one by one."
Alien
Agenda (Ambrose from Diver Deep with a mask) - "It took a weak human to
think of it. We all were thinking about honor and such."
Colonel Calibrate (the lawyer) - "The challenge ... heh."
Eddie - "Huh. We I just can't fucking stand them. Let's get it done."
The
Minister - "The problem is, they are truly like that. That which you
hate about them, incestuous whores though they may be, that insidious
laughter and bravado ... it's the way they really are."
Eddie -
"God I knew it ... it was easier to accept when I though they were full
of shit but then one interview I realized. They were not fucking with
me."
Alien Agenda - "That's the horrifying reality. So long as
they are so unbelievably inane, fate itself seem to protect them. But
poisoning them. Ha ! Love it."
Eddie - "Yeah I don't know if that'll work on all of them."
Organica - "Better than that. What about expanding food ? On contact with
saliva it grows and clogs the throat ... they'll be dead of no air
before the first ambulance and they'd have to slit their throats to
remove it. So at least there'd be that."
They nod considering the suffering ...
Eddie - "Won't work on The Rock though ... "
Calibrate - "Hand grenade."
Eddie - "Seriously ?"
Colonel Calibrate - "Seriously. I took a chunk out once."
Number Nine - "I remember that. Good times ... which team up was that ?"
Colonel Calibrate - "Legion of Legions."
The Minister - "I read about that one in the paper."
Eddie
- "Yeah I took the pictures, the five are the ones who destroyed that side of town ... what's your power again ?"
The Minister - Grins ... "Wrath."
Number Nine - "Oh yeah he makes good wrath."
The Minister - "But you'll never find them before the bullet."
Colonel Calibrate - "Worse than bullet proof. You just don't hit happen to them."
Alien Agenda - "Because they're morons."
Eddie - "I actually get that. So the key is bringing them to the bullet."
Colonel Calibrate - "And hand grenades."
________________
Maria - "Late night celebrating your front page shot ?"
Eddie - "Concocting my master plan to kill the Fabulous Five."
Maria - "God I wish. To never have to interview a fucking rock again ... "
Eddie - A laugh, "Working on it. Going out or staying in ?"
Maria - "Let's stay in."
Eddie - "No news."
Maria - "Pinky promise."
Eddie - Voiced over, "And so we set to it."
____________
Colonel Calibrate - Loads his .303 with his eye down the scope. "One by one."
____
Number Nine - Dressed as flower deliverer, to the Fabulous tower receptionist, "Well hello there."
Receptionist - Sees him and smiles, "Well hi ! Flowers for the team ? Let me guess. The Divisible Girl."
Number Nine - "Actually, they're for you." A wry smile, "Apparently someone's got a crush."
Receptionist - Looks into him, "Someone."
Number Nine - "You wouldn't have buzzed me in without the costume."
Receptionist - "We all like costumes here." Looks to the next receptionist coming on shift to relieve her, smiles back at Number Nine.
____
The
flowers drop to the glorious sounds of fucking in the break room (where
another employee walks in and grabs a soda from the fridge, opens it
and takes a drink watching them ... then leaves).
The flowers grow, sprouting into Organica. She watches a sec, a look to the fridge, grabs a soda and leaves.
____
At the Fabulous dinner table, the five laugh at likely a horrible joke which you will be spared, then down to feed ~
Divisible Girl (Miserella) - "Wow this is good. Really filling." Her eyes go wide as about to choke.
Total Flamer - His throat growing, "Too Big ! Too Big !"
No-Bone
McDoy (the father) works his neck to get the growing mass out, while The Rock's
google eyes stare at the plate in front of him, maybe. Hard to say,
he's a rock.
Crisis Existential (Miserella''s mother) arrives late in a hurry, laden with shopping bags sees their struggle and screams.
Divisible
Girl - Becoming many, the lead looks down to the choking version as she
falls to the floor. "Poor dear. You know what we must do.
The
choker looks up in her struggle and nods. The lead pulls a blade and
slams it into her sternum, cutting and prying until the fallen tree
crack of the sternum, cuts out her heart and begins to devour, "We take
your soul."
With a primordial roar, they all snap back into one,
face covered with blood. Her face snaps back from the shot to the
forehead. She falls.
The gather around, total flamer burns it off and returns to his truly Fabulous costume.
Crisis
Existential - "O My God did she actually die or was that in my head
again ?" She looks at The Rock in her hand, The Rock looks back.
No-Bone McDoy - The sullen music, "She's ... gone." The screen goes dark, spotlight on The Divisible Corpse.
...
Total Flamer (Interpol guy) - "Don't you mean they ?"
...
They all laugh in the dark.
____
Colonel Calibrate - "And we're
the bad guys ... phew." Pulls an RPG and fires it (it says D&D on
the side) and fires for the broken window. Throws the 20 sided die ...
it's a one. "Damn it." Starts packing the gear.
____
No-Bone McDoy - All laying in the rubble ... "I ... I think someone's trying to kill us !"
Crisis Existential - "Your not real. They're out of sodas downstairs." Walks away petting The Rock, "But you are ... yes you are !"
('Kung Fu Jumping' remix by DJ Schmolli)
~ the cheers and drinks in the evil lair (shitty warehouse) ~
Maria - Wide eyed in bed after, smoking a cigarette. "So what's different ?"
Eddie - Smoking, "What do you mean ?"
Maria
- "I've never been fucked by anyone like you, and you have never fucked
me like that. You're clearly in a good mood. So what's different ?"
Eddie - "I don't know, let's check the news."
Maria - "You never want to watch news together."
Eddie
- "I guess my senses are just tingling me. Might be something
interesting ... let's fined out." Grabs the control and flips on the TV
across from the bed to the news. All about Divisible Girl.
Maria - "Oh my God how did you know."
Eddie - "I told you. One by one."
Maria - "Ha ! I wish." She watches the report. "Wonder why they didn't call me."
Eddie - "I turned your phone off."
Maria - "Bastard. But worth it. It would have been complicated too reach for it in that position."
Eddie - "Glad they didn't call me."
Maria - "Turned your phone off."
Eddie - "I love you."
Maria - Snaps a look to, "What the fuck did you just say to me ?"
Eddie - "I'm not afraid of you." Voiced over as she stares into him probing almost maliciously, "That was a lie. I'm goddamn terrified."
She smiles wry into a kiss, they put out their smokes to the dark fade amid the sound of the reports.
________________
While Crisis Existential wanders the dark and empty penthouse ...
Crisis
Existential - Talking to herself or perhaps a rock, "All alone ... "
She pokes around the corner into the kitchen with its pile of dishes,
evidence of multiple meals stacked still on the table, take-out trash
and boxes.
"All alone ... "
She smiles ... "Finally."
She
looks around with a near giggle, then to the still shattered window
from the Divisible Girl's murder. "All the voices are gone. But still
!" She looks at The Rock, "Revenge is the etiquette."
She throws the rock far out the window.
It
spins and spins through the air, googly eyes spinning against, until it
begins to grow and transform into Dwayne Johnson. With a
hard 'superhero landing' on one knee and fist looking down. "Revenge it is."
He raises an eyebrow over a glowing red eye.
________
Maria
- In bed next to Eddie again, appearing near the state of shock and
endorphins ... "God if only I'd known I'd have killed them myself." She
looks fast to Eddie, "Now what the fuck did you say to me ?"
Eddie - Side eye ... "You heard me."
Maria - "Yeah. And now I want to hear it again. Look me in the eye."
Eddie - Looks at her. ... "I love you."
...
Maria - "God I hate you." Looks back to the news across from the bed.
Eddie - "For someone as good at spotting a liar as you, you're really fucking bad at it yourself."
Maria - "Fuck me again."
Eddie - "Can do."
The view clicks off with the news.
________
The
Rock stands over the site of No-Bone McDoy's death, a squiggly chalk
outline drawn around rubbery form washing away in the rain ... turns
away cold.
Then over the scorch marks in the ground of Total
Flamer. Looks up at the sun, eyebrow raised over the red glow. Fires a
beam with a rage filled roar, houses and cars crushing inward from the
force of his will. Car alarms sound as he examines the marks, a wavy
circle drawn in that chalk around ...
His eye vision shows the
readouts analyzing the data, the tire marks from the swerve to kill,
then shuts down as he looks around. Another view shows decaying
detritus from the ice cream truck and he follows with a stomp that
shakes the suburbs through the noise.
________
While Crisis Existential dances in the empty penthouse ... "All gone all gone, the voices are gone !"
('Fists of Love' by Big Black)
('Superman vs Goku'' by Epic Rap Battles of History)
The Rock stomps the middle of the
road ~
The
protagonists about their normal undercover days, The Minister takes
confessions, Number Nine takes an ass, The Ice Cream truck drops off for
the kids, Maria reports the news.
Cops try to stops him, a blast from the eye too the next scene.
________________
In the confessional ~
The Rock - "Forgive me father, for I fear I must sin again."
The Minister - Voiced over a view outside the church as the sky darks over. "Well it's about God damn time."
____
The
team's phones ring and buzz one by one, Crisis Existential rides the
elevator down. The ding. The door opens behind the receptionist desk.
Receptionist (#9's 'friend') - "Oh my God we've been so worried a ... "
Crisis
Existential - "Useless whore." She clenches a fist, popping the
receptionist in a scatter of blood as the world starts shifting into
another one entirely, the over-vivid colors creeping in. "All alone ...
"
________________
The Rock tears the warehouse door off the hinges, now
empty. He takes a deep whiff of the air ... readouts showing all the
people who were there, their records ... all but one. Eddie has no
record, has never been sampled.
Question mark flashing.
Eddie - Standing behind him at the door, "It's you ! I am such a fan."
The Rock - "Mr Schlock. A pleasure to see you. Turned back to scan the room ... "And what brings you here ?"
Eddie - "Same nose as you I think, got a tip." Smiles looking down at his phone, "Looks like it payed off."
The Rock - "The priest."
Eddie - "Yeah ! He was a priest ! How did you ... "
The Rock - "He's dead." His tac-view shows the question mark flashing over Eddie. "And so are you."
Eddie - "Wait what Me !?" I'm fucking Powerless !"
The Rock - "Organica. Number Nine. Colonel Calibrate." Eye glowing red as the enter, "Let's get it on."
Number Nine - "I have a confession." Pulls off his mask and looks to Eddie. "I don't have superpowers."
____
Maria - To a woman dressed like Cupid drinking tea behind bars, "What !?"
____
Eddie - "But how did you ... all those women ... "
Number Nine - "And men. I'm just that charming !"
____
Cupid - "Hot."
Maria - "Oh my God ... "
____
The Rock - "Seeing Number Nine without a mask ... "O my God."
The Minster - "Owwwwww !" Limping in with one arm ... "That hurt."
The Rock - "But you ... "
The Minister - "God's own motherfucker." Spits blood. "Won't let me die til I'm done."
Number Nine - " 'Finishing' is a problem with this one."
Organica - "Seems the type."
The Rock - "All those things you said to me ... " Eye growing dim with sadness " ... I believed you."
Number Nine - "Hm." A smile as he puts the mask back on. "Let's go."
They
all turn for the door, The Rock left there in the dark, "But ... " The
grenades roll in and the warehouse explodes behind them.
Colonel Calibrate - "Wait !" Rolls a die ... it lands on twenty. "Well God damn."
Number Nine - "Just a big softy."
Eddie - "So."
Number
Nine - "She loves you Eddie. And you love her." He smiles ... the
blast through him as The Rock roars in the rubble, Crisis Existential
approaching in her usual laden state with shopping bags.
The
sky grows dark with the Minister's wrath while the buildings all flicker
in forms with Crisis Existential's fluctuating emotional state. She
pulls a pill bottle and pops, the world shudders into a chromatic
rendition.
Crisis Existential - As The Rock walks to her side,
"Sorry about your friend." Unwraps a piece of chewing gum and tastes
it, "Not."
The Rock raises his brow to a blast across their number, sending them all for cover.
Eddie - "Well that's me off guys, I've got a wedding to go to."
Organica - "Yeah you should definitely leave now."
All agree.
The Rock - "Oh no. No one gets out alive."
Crisis Existential - "Except us of course."
The Rock - "Well." ... Turns to her, "I really wish you'd stop stepping on my action lines."
Crisis Existential - "Yeah and I wish this was actually happening but here we're not !"
The Rock - "You're fucking insane."
Crisis Existential - "And you're fucking free. Kill them all. And I mean Everyone."
The
Rock - Raises a brow with a blast as Edie tries sneaking away amid
their drama, sending him back behind a pile of rubble. "Just you and
me, on top of the world."
Crisis Existential - "You're a rock. It means just me."
The Rock - "I'm The Rock."
Crisis Existential - "Sure. Go get 'em tiger." Turns shuffling her bags.
Organica
- "Paper covers rock." A tree from nowhere falls on The Rock. She
looks at the team ... "You know. Like paper comes from trees."
"Ah."
The Rock - Lifting the tree off, "Sister. Your action lines suck ass."
Organica - "Do not."
The Rock - "Do too." Struck by lightning. Smouldering ... "Owww ... "
Crisis Existential - "Ah. I ... have a wedding to go to ! Yep !"
Powerless - "Nope. Colonel ?"
The Colonel looks to him.
Powerless - "Calibrate."
The Colonel - "Heh." Pulls the RPG.
Crisis
Existential hides behind The Rock while he takes the blasts, he
responds with a beam from the eye and it's on. The vines grow, the sky
darkens and fire rains above in mass just waiting for the ground, the
rockets flare.
Crisis Existential turns to run, The Minister runs after as the burning stones strike all around.
Crisis
Existential - A distance down the way, she stops and turns and the
world shifts a shade. "Your God has no power over me."
The
Minister - "That's absolutely the worst thing to say to him." She's
struck by lightning, the world shuttering to normal then back again.
Crisis Existential - "You ... I will eat your fucking liver for pate ... I will ... "
The Minister - "Yea Though I Walk."
The stones rain all around with gust of wind, hail mingles with fire as she pulls the umbrella from her bags ...
The Minister - "Everyone's tried to take you out, from Galaga to Deuce. Everyone." Grins ...
Crisis Existential - Shifting her shopping bags, "Yeah ?" Pops another pill, the world shifts green. "So what have you got ?"
The Minister - "The end of the world, just to take you out with it. I'm gonna smack you upside the head with the apocalypse."
('Temptation' by Prince)
And
so it begins ... Hell rains from above, vines grow from below. The
Rock fires his blasts as Calibrate sends it all, the destruction of the
city grows.
Eddie tries sneaking away ...
Maria watches
the news with Cupid, wide eyes before the helicopter filming is struck
by fire and sent spinning down. Punches aside in The Rocks path to
explosion into a nearby laundromat.
The Rock - To himself, "Oh right. Saving people." Eye-roll. "Whatever." Stomps forth.
Inside Crisis's created bubble world, the bunnies dance and play ... it's Easter !
Crisis Existential - As The Minister walks into the bubble, "Oo Daddy. I Have Sinned."
The Minister - "You never should have left me. The world we could have made."
Crisis Existential - "Pf. What world. None of it's real."
Minister - "I am."
A dirty look ...
_____
While Eddie runs fleeing The Rock's blasts, Maria watches him on the news.
Cupid - "He Loves you."
She looks to the Cupid, then back to the news and back again.
Maria - "Eddie ?"
Cupid - Looks from her to the TV with a smile, "Powerless."
____
The song wails with the destruction, Galaga watches on a tiny TV ... "heh."
Doctor
Deuce watches from his cell ... "It's time." ... The prison riots ...
"It's TIME !" The prisoners cheer, shaking their bars.
____
The Minister - "End times."
Crisis Existential - A laugh looking beyond her bubble, "You always promised me. You promised me. The end of the world."
The Minister - "The beginning of ours."
...
She smiles.
____
Eddie - Bursts through Maria's door exhausted. "I love you." Sees Cupid. "Um. Hi. I love her."
Cupid - "I know. And she loves you." Maria punches her.
Maria - "It's true. I can't actually say the words without retching but ... what she said. And yes."
Eddie - "You will !?"
Maria - "I ... " Retches a bit. "I do."
____
Weeding
bells gong loud as Galaga powers into the atmosphere over the city,
continuing orchestral through the battle. The prison gates crash open
in their escape.
Crisis Existential - "The ... " A hopeful smile, "Apocalypse ?"
The Minister - Grins back "As you wish."
The bubble pops, The Rock pops back to a rock.
The city turns back into
itself as all the powers fade, the urban traffic surrounding and burying
them all among them, just going to work. The swelling orchestra into
the church as Eddie and Maria are married by the Minister (with two
arms), Crisis playing the organ.
The kiss ...
Minister - To Crisis, "You take your pills ?"
Crisis - Smiles up from the keys with pills for teeth.
~ the end ~
('The Letter' by PJ Harvey)
The screen crackles out and in like an old TV.
Switchblade leans in watching with a grin, the Team in costume ~
Powerless - Voice modulated, "Do not panic. We have taken control. Our Demands are simple. An end to all social media. An end to all cellphones."
"And we want to be Villainaires."
Static out to the sound of launch sirens, The Minister voiced over, "Honey ... "
Static out to the sound of launch sirens, The Minister voiced over, "Honey ... "
...
Crisis Existential - "What ?"
('Love Potion Number Nine' by The Clovers)
Number Nine and Cupid still with living wings hold hands on the beach at sunset ... it could be Heaven.
___________________
~ three
Organica - Evil smile ... "No-Bone McDoy
... hey Eddie. We all chipped in. Gonna need it Mr 'secret identity'
... " She pulls out a black leather supervillain hood with goggles and
gas mask set in.
Eddie - "Holy Shit. This is cool !" Puts it
on, "Wow." Hears his altered voice, "wow ... woooowooow ... (now just
listening to the sound), "Thanks guys ... this ... is really special."
Takes it off and looks at it with a smile, "But No-Bone. How ? Nothing can pierce him, he only keeps stretching."
Alien Agenda - "Space blasters."
They all look at him.
...
Eddie - "Okay so I 'accept your existence' ... you know. 'Aliens are real' and what not but ... do you really call them that ?"
Alien Agenda - "Well. The toys we do."
____
Ambrose at home, "Mom can I have five X-23 space blasters for Human Greed Day ?"
Alien Mom - "You'll shoot your eye out."
Ambrose - "No ... they're for my human friends so they shoot their eyes out."
Alien Mom - "That's my clever boy ... "
____
Alien
Agenda - Drops the crate on the table, "Useless against Total Flamer
and Crisis Existential, but McDoy on the other hand ... "
Eddie - Picks up a 50's looking sci-fi blaster ... "They'll burn right through him."
Alien Agenda - "Indeed. But first you have to check the barrel."
Eddie - "What do you mean ?" Looks down the barrel then catches himself ... "Ah !" A laugh ...
Alien Agenda - "One day I will kill you all, insufferable humans." Smiles across the emotional table, "But not today."
They cheers to the next scene ~
('Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun' by Beastie Boys)
Walking to the hit while spinning and trying out their shiny new space blasters in the alleys ...
Eddie - "Okay. We know his body will react intuitively, automatically dodging every shot and threat without him even thinking about it. These space guns are great ... "
Alien Agenda - "Blasters."
Eddie - "Yeah the space blasters are great but it doesn't matter until we hit him."
Colonel Calibrate - "Cross fire ... "
Eddie - "Exactly. And we aim for where previous shot makes him go."
Organica - "And that shot makes him go where we want."
Eddie - "Into the next shot."
Organica - "Bring them to the bullet. You're really very good at this you know. You need a name."
Eddie - "Like a villain name ? What are they gonna call me, I'm powerless."
Number Nine - "That's it ! You're Powerless !"
Alien Agenda - "Strangely intimidating ... and very ironic."
Colonel Calibrate - "Screams of madness."
Alien Agenda - "Human madness."
The Minister - "Like a cornered animal."
Organica
- "Like if he's there at all he's got something up his sleeve just for
you, but you don't know what it is ... got something for me."
Powerless - "My heart on a sleeve."
Number Nine - "He's in love."
Organica - "And I'm an evil temptress."
Powerless - "I really do like this one. I don't want to fuck it up."
Organica
- "One of Nine's victims I think." Smiles, "Your never do know ... you
know. Just bear it in mind if it all goes awry, and we just might
conquer the world together."
Powerless - "Still can."
Number Nine - "He'll hold."
Organica - "Huh. You were saying ?"
Powerless
- Smiles, "I was. I know about you and Nine ... " Looks to
Calibrate and Agenda, then to The Minister, "While I guess he just makes the mayhem."
The Minister - "The mayhem almighty."
Powerless - "Looking forward to that." Back to Alien Agenda and Colonel Calibrate, "But what about you two."
Colonel Calibrate - "Infinite ammo."
Alien Agenda - "General superiority."
Powerless - "No shit ?"
Colonel Calibrate - "No shit."
Alien Agenda - "Indeed."
Colonel Calibrate - "One bullet is all I need."
Alien Agenda - "And I in fact do not shit."
Powerless - "Whoa. That's cool. Both. Alright. Nine, make the call."
Number Nine - "Another hod date in the dirty alleyway ...
" Starts tapping. "He's a very naughty boy, he likes it like that."
Ringing ... "Plus he's mourning, that always makes him horny."
Organica - "Last time we killed his mother."
Powerless - "Ah."
Number Nine - Into the phone, "Well hellooo you ... I heard about the tragedy and just couldn't stop thinking about how you must be feeling right now.
"I'm concerned."
Makes a eye-rolling grotesque face of annoyance while listening to him
talk ... Oh yeah. I'm in your favorite place and mine right now."
Pretends vomit. "Mm. Toodles." Hangs up, "Places."
________
Number nine waits until he hears the whistle echo down the alleyway, a dramatic intonation of 'When Irish eyes are smiling ... '
No-Bone
McDoy - Tan trench over his dumb ass costume, seeing only Number Nine.
"I can't believe I'm here again but I think the team really need this
right now."
Number Nine - "Me too." Pulls a space blaster from under his coat, "Now dance."
No-Bone McDoy "What ?"
Number Nine pulls the gun and fires, No-Bone stretches automatically to avoid it, and the alley fills with blasts.
(cut from '2 the 9's' by Prince)
As No-Bone gets more desperate in his involuntary gyrations. They
do as planned. Shots move him into other shots, they converge as his
boogie gets desperate until they start connecting and loading him with
holes.
Then down on the ground and exhausted, already dying, he looks around and they're gone. The grenade bounces to.
No-Bone McDoy - "Oh fuck me." And to the after party ...
('Vomit ~ 1926 Edit' by MF Doom)
(the after party)
________________
('Boogie Dracula' by Rob Zombie v Earth Wind and Fire)
Song directly in at 6 minutes (after the intermish), voiced over the open, still dark ~
Number Nine - "Bullets melt, metals melt, plastics ... "
Colonel Calibrate - "Shrapnel ... "
Organica - "I'm literally a plant."
The Minister - "I rain Hell from the Heavens and he walks through it like it's home."
Number Nine - "Nothing. Total Flamer has only one weakness."
(main music)
All
bundled up in the back of an ice cream truck with a tied up driver,
Powerless driving while Total Flamer waits at the corner tapping his
phone. They turn the temp down to the lowest.
Total Flamer -
Drops into a suburb playing Crossout on his phone, he taps a direct
message ~ "you suck at life like this game you should kill yourself."
Evil snicker as he sends it, plays on.
~ They swerve at high speed through the traffic, Ice Cream music jingling while the driver rolls around shivering.
He does a little dance waiting. Gets mad at what he sees, taps away and says to himself, "SWAT you ... "
~
The truck accelerates down the neighborhood strip, sighted ahead,
camera lowers to the kevlar mounted across its front end. Powerless
blasts the jingle music and leans in.
Total Flamer looks up at the ice cream sound, "Ooo ! Ice cream ... " Looks at his phone, "Bitch !" Hears the engine roaring high, "Coming in a bit hot ... heh. Hope the see me ... " Steps closer to the curb.
The
truck hops the curb and splat into an explosion of flame engulfing
them, the truck driver nodding with a scared smile (next song
immediately on impact).
('By the Time I Get to Arizona' by Public Enemy)
Driving
the fireball out of the neighborhood, to the after party with the
driver getting showered with money in the warehouse the, truck still
smoking behind while they eat ice cream.
____________
~ finished soon ...
popcorn ~ volume ii
In a dark alley while he pisses ~
Woman (the same actor as Miserella in Switchblade) - "So ! Hear you didn't like the flick-a-doo ... "
Pisser - Zips fast, "Oh my God, it's ... you."
Woman - "No it's not. But you called me some very bad things. Do you know what I'm going to do to you ?"
Pisser - " ... "
Woman - "That wasn't rhetorical. Do, you know what I'm going to do to you, right now ?"
Pisser - " ... No."
Woman - "Huh. Guess you don't know so much after all."
Screams from the alleyway behind the theater as the people pass with the traffic noise, the marquis ~
(''Gett Off' by Prince)
~ Nerdbag Little Bitches ~
all in a row
(credits while she does all that with a bread knife)
In the rain after the credits to the crappy motel, Eddie from 'Why I hate the Fabulous Five' coming down the stairs, her going up.
"Eddie."
"Charlotte."
Up into her room, she drops the coat and tosses the knife into the sink with the dirty dishes. Looks in the mirror.
Charlotte - "Oh my God. It's me." ... Bursts out laughing. "Bitch-ass fucking nerdbag."
_____
A tuber rages about the movie (this one), screaming how it's a personal attack on all tubers and that Charlotte's just a mean spirited cow. She clicks the pause. Lights a cigarette.
Smokes ...
Charlotte - "You're a mean spirited cow." Looks out the window, it rains. Smokes. "Now I wanna hamburger. Fuck this guy."
Closes the computer. Looks away ... then back to it, opens it and then a series of command prompts into a network now running signals ... she smiles ...
Down the stairs where the press now waits ...
Newshuman - "They say ... "
Charlotte - "Lick a clit skeaze, I'm on a mission."
Pushes through the snapping shots. An airplane flies overhead, she's smoking on other streets, notably bright as the motel neighborhood always seems darker. Clutching a rolled up newspaper like she's about to swat something, she pulls out a picture of the tuber.
Charlotte - "Ham ... bur ... gerrrr ... " Shoves it in her pocket and pulls out another cigarette, forgetting there's one already in her mouth. Looks up at the comic-con ahead ... a sigh ... "Beef."
Pauses and laughs a bit and laughs before running head down in with her hands in her coat pockets, the paper sticking out.
The tubers are gathered around the target''s booth, they all stop and stare as she approaches. A glare to the side at the Mary Sue Vector booth ... Marie Sue (same actor as Bets) glares back ... then back to laughing with her admirers.
The tuber (Jean Luc Pa-Damn) - Surrounded by the rest frozen in a stare, "Oh my God. It's ... you."
Charlotte - "No it's not. But I do look a lot like her and do you know what that's like ? With you shitbags always on about what a wreck she is ? How fucked her career is, because of fuck-faced little maggots like you ? Mary Sue's an absolute whore and even She doesn't give you the time of day. Do you have Any Idea what It's LIKE !?"
...
Pa-Damn - "Are you sure it isn't you ?"
Charlotte - "I am absolutely certain that I am not me." Slams the rolled over and crinkled paper on the table, news of the murder."
They stare ...
Rando - "Oh my God. It's him."
...
Charlotte - "What is Wrong with you people." To Pa-Damn, "So guess what shit bag. You're next. I'm gonna grind you up and I'm gonna eat you. Like a cow. Call the police and see what they've got to say about it. None of your phones recorded. They're hacked. I own you. And I just farmed All of your everything Into to fucking Bitcoin."
They all look at their phones ... "Fuck ... " they look up and she's gone.
Cop on the phone - Laughing ... he can't stop laughing, while Charlotte laughs maniacally in her motel room, until a pounding on the wall.
Eddie - Through the wall, "Jesus Christ we're All maniacal here, we Get it."
Charlotte - Looks at the mirror, to herself. "Yeah. We're all maniacal here." Shouts, "Sorry !"
('Can You Get to That' by Funkadelic)
Her monitors runs the sub-windows hacking street-cams as some of them walk, traffic cams checking plates, minimizes them and hears a knock on the door.
Eddie - At the door. "Coffee.."
Charlotte - Suspicious, then "Coffee good." Heads for the kitchen.
Eddie - Entering, "Whatcha workin' on."
Charlotte - "Murdering hate-tubers. You ?"
Eddie - "Eh. There's like this bible salesman in Hell ... it's ... convoluted. I'd stay out of it. I didn't want to make the portal at home. How ya gonna do 'em ?"
Charlotte - "Well the next one I want to eat like a cow."
Eddie - "Careful of the brain or anything coming off the cord, kuru gonna get-cha."
Charlotte - "Yeah. I know."
...
Grinds.
Eddie - Leaning into the monitor, "Yeah ... I've seen this one ... "
Charlotte - Comes out to see. "Yeah. That's the one. I took all their money so they can't hire security, they're liquidating the last on some lawyers. But they got no case 'til it happens and when it does it'll be too late."
Eddie - "I haven't seen anything hard on the last guy, said it was a mugging."
Charlotte - "It was. Three hundred dollars. Guess what I bought." Hands him his cup.
Eddie - Smiles, "Coffee."
Charlotte - "Coffee good. So ya this next one though ... I mean I told him that's what I was gonna do so now I feel obligated and That's Really complicated actually. I mean do I beat him with the antique grinder in the alley !? Do I break into the butcher's and use theirs !? Do I ... do I ... "
Eddie - "Hey ... hey. Don't worry about it. Just cut off his arm !"
Charlotte - "O my god I think I'm hyperventilating."
________
Tubers - "What are we going to do man ? I mean ... she's taken it all ! I had to sell my Pokemon collection.
A collective - "Oooo ... "
____
Charlotte - "So what happened to Crisis Existential ?"
Eddie - "Once it was all pieced together, our friend from 'Interpol' swept her away. Then her husband went on a rampage after and ... that was it."
Charlotte - "Yeah. That was it. So you're going to Hell ?"
Eddie - "Yeah. I think maybe this crazy guy can help."
Charlotte - "The bible salesman."
Eddie - "Yeah."
They laugh.
Eddie - He drinks the last and hands her the cup. "And off I go."
Charlotte - As he leaves, "Good luck !"
Eddie - Stops before the door. ... "You know. One day I hope you get what you want."
Charlotte - A slow smile, "Me too. Tell the devil Charlotte says hello."
He smiles and leaves.
____
Pa-Damn - "She's gonna fucking eat me."
Another - "That would take a really long time."
Yet another - "Complicated. Lots of evidence."
Another still - "Which could be good for the rest of us."
Another - "Mm-hm. It'll establish the pattern and then maybe the cops will believe us."
Pa-Damn - "Seriously. Fuck you guys."
Yet another - "We honor your sacrifice."
All others - "K-Plah !"
Eddie - At the door. "Coffee.."
Charlotte - Suspicious, then "Coffee good." Heads for the kitchen.
Eddie - Entering, "Whatcha workin' on."
Charlotte - "Murdering hate-tubers. You ?"
Eddie - "Eh. There's like this bible salesman in Hell ... it's ... convoluted. I'd stay out of it. I didn't want to make the portal at home. How ya gonna do 'em ?"
Charlotte - "Well the next one I want to eat like a cow."
Eddie - "Careful of the brain or anything coming off the cord, kuru gonna get-cha."
Charlotte - "Yeah. I know."
...
Grinds.
Eddie - Leaning into the monitor, "Yeah ... I've seen this one ... "
Charlotte - Comes out to see. "Yeah. That's the one. I took all their money so they can't hire security, they're liquidating the last on some lawyers. But they got no case 'til it happens and when it does it'll be too late."
Eddie - "I haven't seen anything hard on the last guy, said it was a mugging."
Charlotte - "It was. Three hundred dollars. Guess what I bought." Hands him his cup.
Eddie - Smiles, "Coffee."
Charlotte - "Coffee good. So ya this next one though ... I mean I told him that's what I was gonna do so now I feel obligated and That's Really complicated actually. I mean do I beat him with the antique grinder in the alley !? Do I break into the butcher's and use theirs !? Do I ... do I ... "
Eddie - "Hey ... hey. Don't worry about it. Just cut off his arm !"
Charlotte - "O my god I think I'm hyperventilating."
________
Tubers - "What are we going to do man ? I mean ... she's taken it all ! I had to sell my Pokemon collection.
A collective - "Oooo ... "
____
Charlotte - "So what happened to Crisis Existential ?"
Eddie - "Once it was all pieced together, our friend from 'Interpol' swept her away. Then her husband went on a rampage after and ... that was it."
Charlotte - "Yeah. That was it. So you're going to Hell ?"
Eddie - "Yeah. I think maybe this crazy guy can help."
Charlotte - "The bible salesman."
Eddie - "Yeah."
They laugh.
Eddie - He drinks the last and hands her the cup. "And off I go."
Charlotte - As he leaves, "Good luck !"
Eddie - Stops before the door. ... "You know. One day I hope you get what you want."
Charlotte - A slow smile, "Me too. Tell the devil Charlotte says hello."
He smiles and leaves.
____
Pa-Damn - "She's gonna fucking eat me."
Another - "That would take a really long time."
Yet another - "Complicated. Lots of evidence."
Another still - "Which could be good for the rest of us."
Another - "Mm-hm. It'll establish the pattern and then maybe the cops will believe us."
Pa-Damn - "Seriously. Fuck you guys."
Yet another - "We honor your sacrifice."
All others - "K-Plah !"
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