Oh no I'm fine.  But I have been going through it.  Evolution and inevitability ... something's coming.  My body knows it and is preparing by nature for almost a month now.  Fight or flight, adrenaline surging, like being watched in the jungle.  You feel it.  You know it.  But you just can't place it from where, something's coming.

But the good news about it is that you go in prepared in the body and mind, not knowing what or why makes you ready for anything, just a monkey looking down the barrel of evolution in the dark.  My body is puffing, muscles growing too fast, my arms don't go down to the sides.  Eyes sharpening, things look clearer than they did.  

Simpler.

Cause and effect swirling all around in patterns I see before the happening.

Agitated.  Annoyed.  Waiting for it.  Patience is not my highest attribute.  They speak of destiny, those who think they know the secrets of me which I do not.  They speak of purpose.  These words mean nothing to me, left to the eyes of an observer who only plays along because they're too bored to turn off the television.

So yeah I'm fine, everything's fine, just moody and avoiding taking that out on some random topic falsely to release it all.  I could.  But it's all obvious and about to be resolved.  So fuck 'em.  It's all so small.  Practice dummies for what really matters, and it will be here soon enough.

I'll let you know.

Meanwhile I've been taking down the Balloon Pop notes like the rest in my journal instead of here, sorry about that, nothing personal, killing the time in the park til the sun goes down before back to the woods.  This vacation has been more than healing for me, much more.

As was the plan, but being there now ... my God I'm on fire.